Tourist: Are you selling those?
Guy with fake handbags: Of course not! We’re the police.
–Church & Fulton
Tourist: Are you selling those?
Guy with fake handbags: Of course not! We’re the police.
–Church & Fulton
Chick: Why did you move my beverage to the floor?
Woman #1: You’re not supposed to have drinks on the train. Especially not on the seats.
College chick: It’s not going to spill. Are you a cop?
Woman #1: No, I’m a taxpayer.
Chick: So am I. I have rights, too.
Woman #1: Yeah, I’m a cop.
Woman #2: Can you be a taxpayer and a cop?
–1 train
Urban Youth: Fuck you, you fat fucking fucks! Motherfucking cops. Suck a fucking dick! All society. They show no respect, then they get mad when we don’t show any. Say we’re mad animals. Try to shut the door on purpose when they see me coming. Suck mad cocks!
–D Train
Cop: Come on, you’re coming with me.
Educated youth: Naw, man! I got my third right amendment! My third right amendment!
–42nd & 7th
Policeman: “…of course I would accept the money! Do I look like I’m rich?”
– Bedford L subway station
Protestor: I really want to get arrested. What do you think I should do?
–After a protest outside Stuyvesant Church, East Village
Size 10 policewoman: Ya know, I gotta gain some weight.
Size 14-plus policewoman: Ya can have some o' me, anytime.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Could'a Been A Contender
Police officer #1: They really shouldn't let elderly people in this elevator. It's so hot and there's no air circulation, people pass out in here!
Police officer #2: Well, maybe they should just not go on the elevator. (they laugh)
Police officer #1: But seriously, I had to give three old ladies mouth-to-mouth.
Police officer #2: Well, there's a first time for everything.
–168th St
NYPD emergency service cop to man carrying very large hamster in a cage: Whoa, did you pull that out of someone's butt?
–50th St & 10th Ave
Overheard by: Well we're in the neighborhood for it…
30-something to friend: She has everything up her ass but a cock.
–Broadway and Waverly
Tall man to short lady behind her wearing backpack: If you shove that bag any further up my ass, it'll be coming out my mouth!
–Downtown 5 Train
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
20-something boyfriend to girlfriend: First I let you put a dildo up my ass, and then you call me a faggot!
–2nd Ave & St. Mark's
Overheard by: Joe
Gay man: Oh. My. God. What kind of friend puts eels up your ass?
–52nd St & 9th Ave
20-something woman: Which of these trains goes to Exchange Place?
Cop: You gotta take this train to Pavonia, then transfer to one going to the World Trade Center, and that'll take you to Exchange Place.
20-something woman, after pause: Never mind. (exits station)
–PATH Train
