Brunette: That Secret Service guy was really rude!
Redhead: I know, and he wasn't in uniform, how does he expect us to know!
Brunette: Yeah, I want to complain. He shouldn't be out here without his uniform.
–Bowling Green Subway Entrance
Brunette: That Secret Service guy was really rude!
Redhead: I know, and he wasn't in uniform, how does he expect us to know!
Brunette: Yeah, I want to complain. He shouldn't be out here without his uniform.
–Bowling Green Subway Entrance
Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.
–Bedford & S 3rd
Overheard by: Rocky
Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?
–Broadway
Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.
–Q Train
Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!
–Ave C & 7th St
Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.
–Rockefeller Center
30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?
–Central Park
Overheard by: Tom Guest
Two boys were playing on a fire escape.
Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island.
–Windsor Terrace
Meter maid cop: Excuse me, can you tell me what street this is?
Woman: It’s 25th… Aren’t you supposed to know?!
Meter maid cop: Yeah, but sometimes we get lost.
–25th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: nina bina
Traffic cop: You can’t walk now. Get a clue!
Man: I got a clue — the ‘Walk’ sign!
Traffic cop: I don’t give a shit what the sign says!
–52nd & 5th
Macho guy: I just want to roundhouse a cop in the head. Then I’m gonna run my ass off.
–Flushing Meadows Corona Park
Overheard by: rob
Perfume vendor: 5 dollars! 5 dollars! Get ’em before the cops do!
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: rah
Girl on cell: …and then the police came so we were wondering if it was gonna be like a bar mitzvah.
–61st & Columbus
Guy on cell: He drank half a bottle of Listerine?…Let me know when the police get there.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Diane
Policeman, to erratic driver: You heard me, man, now pull over. What the hell?
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Policewoman through loudspeaker, to erratic driver: Where did you get your license? Oh. My. God.
–Leonard & Jackson, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chitin
Running mom, to child: Hurry up! Run, run like the cops are chasing you!
–110th & Amsterdam
Blonde tourist: Excuse me, officer. Can you tell me where the nearest liquor store is?
Cop: Hmmm. Don’t know. If you asked me where the nearest doughnut shop is, that would make more sense.
Blonde tourist: Um, can I get a picture with you?
–44th & 8th
Cop on megaphone: Hand over your license and your registration. Now everyone in the Heights knows what I am waiting for.
–138th St & Amsterdam Ave.
Overheard by: tony l.
Hobo: I’m just black. I’m not a criminal.
–Outside MSG
Overheard by: Barry P.
Female cop, screaming out the window of her police car: Stop yelling on the street!
–Greenwich Ave & W 13th St
Overheard by: Pierce
White teen boy: You see, you can only mess with white people and Asian people because the worst thing they’ll do is call the cops. Anybody else–no one will ever hear from you again.
–1 train, southbound
Overheard by: Stephanie Shestakow
Hobo: Stand clear of the closing doors. You cannot block the doors. Keep your belongings with you at all times. If you see a suspicious package or activity, tell a police officer or MTA employee or me. My wife died and I want you to know that I’m single. I may not have any money, but I got plenty of honey. I want all the ladies to know that I’m single. Not the men, though. I’m not gay. I’m a lesbian. I like women.
–Downtown 5 train
Cop car, driving in bike lane, on loudspeaker: Move right. Move right! Your other right, idiot!
–8th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Thug: I hate white people. They’re always talking to the cops.
–1st Ave & 89thSt
Six-year-old boy to two undercover NYPD officers: Hi, what's your name?
Six-year-old boy's mom: Hey, boy, what did I tell you about speaking to strangers?
NYPD undercover officer: It's okay, we're cops. (flashes badge)
Six-year-old boy: Aahhhhhhhhh! (runs into mother's arms)
–E Train
Overheard by: Rob G
Worried suit: Oh, good. I was hoping you would call. Uh yes…I’ve had bloody stool twice in the past two weeks… Yes, the blood is around it…I don’t know. What do you advise?
–McGraw-Hill Building, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: HELP! I’m in the cube across from him
Woman to male companion: I don’t give a shit about no fucking white people, they can suck my bloody pussy. My shit is all bloody and nasty, but I changed my drawers and shit. At least I don’t just rinse it out and hang it in front of a fan…
–G Train
One-eyed Armenian worker, pointing to sample bottle of Vampire wine: Would you like a taste of this wine? It’s half blood, but only the blood of pretty girls, I only drink pretty girls.
–Liquor Store, 10th St & 2nd Ave
MTA cop to blood drive employee: You want blood? I’ll give you blood. Just not from my arm, if you know what I mean.
–Penn Station
Bro: If it looks like blood, it coagulates like blood.
–6 Train
Girl on cell: How was Vicky’s sweet 16? [couple of seconds later] Was the blood from your nose or your ass?
–36th St & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Cody
