Meter maid cop: Excuse me, can you tell me what street this is?
Woman: It’s 25th… Aren’t you supposed to know?!
Meter maid cop: Yeah, but sometimes we get lost.
–25th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: nina bina
Meter maid cop: Excuse me, can you tell me what street this is?
Woman: It’s 25th… Aren’t you supposed to know?!
Meter maid cop: Yeah, but sometimes we get lost.
–25th & 9th Ave
Overheard by: nina bina
Traffic cop: You can’t walk now. Get a clue!
Man: I got a clue — the ‘Walk’ sign!
Traffic cop: I don’t give a shit what the sign says!
–52nd & 5th
Macho guy: I just want to roundhouse a cop in the head. Then I’m gonna run my ass off.
–Flushing Meadows Corona Park
Overheard by: rob
Perfume vendor: 5 dollars! 5 dollars! Get ’em before the cops do!
–33rd & Broadway
Overheard by: rah
Girl on cell: …and then the police came so we were wondering if it was gonna be like a bar mitzvah.
–61st & Columbus
Guy on cell: He drank half a bottle of Listerine?…Let me know when the police get there.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Diane
Policeman, to erratic driver: You heard me, man, now pull over. What the hell?
–St. Mark’s & 2nd
Policewoman through loudspeaker, to erratic driver: Where did you get your license? Oh. My. God.
–Leonard & Jackson, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Chitin
Running mom, to child: Hurry up! Run, run like the cops are chasing you!
–110th & Amsterdam
Blonde tourist: Excuse me, officer. Can you tell me where the nearest liquor store is?
Cop: Hmmm. Don’t know. If you asked me where the nearest doughnut shop is, that would make more sense.
Blonde tourist: Um, can I get a picture with you?
–44th & 8th
Cop on megaphone: Hand over your license and your registration. Now everyone in the Heights knows what I am waiting for.
–138th St & Amsterdam Ave.
Overheard by: tony l.
Hobo: I’m just black. I’m not a criminal.
–Outside MSG
Overheard by: Barry P.
Female cop, screaming out the window of her police car: Stop yelling on the street!
–Greenwich Ave & W 13th St
Overheard by: Pierce
White teen boy: You see, you can only mess with white people and Asian people because the worst thing they’ll do is call the cops. Anybody else–no one will ever hear from you again.
–1 train, southbound
Overheard by: Stephanie Shestakow
Hobo: Stand clear of the closing doors. You cannot block the doors. Keep your belongings with you at all times. If you see a suspicious package or activity, tell a police officer or MTA employee or me. My wife died and I want you to know that I’m single. I may not have any money, but I got plenty of honey. I want all the ladies to know that I’m single. Not the men, though. I’m not gay. I’m a lesbian. I like women.
–Downtown 5 train
Cop car, driving in bike lane, on loudspeaker: Move right. Move right! Your other right, idiot!
–8th Ave & 28th St
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Thug: I hate white people. They’re always talking to the cops.
–1st Ave & 89thSt
Six-year-old boy to two undercover NYPD officers: Hi, what's your name?
Six-year-old boy's mom: Hey, boy, what did I tell you about speaking to strangers?
NYPD undercover officer: It's okay, we're cops. (flashes badge)
Six-year-old boy: Aahhhhhhhhh! (runs into mother's arms)
–E Train
Overheard by: Rob G
Worried suit: Oh, good. I was hoping you would call. Uh yes…I’ve had bloody stool twice in the past two weeks… Yes, the blood is around it…I don’t know. What do you advise?
–McGraw-Hill Building, Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: HELP! I’m in the cube across from him
Woman to male companion: I don’t give a shit about no fucking white people, they can suck my bloody pussy. My shit is all bloody and nasty, but I changed my drawers and shit. At least I don’t just rinse it out and hang it in front of a fan…
–G Train
One-eyed Armenian worker, pointing to sample bottle of Vampire wine: Would you like a taste of this wine? It’s half blood, but only the blood of pretty girls, I only drink pretty girls.
–Liquor Store, 10th St & 2nd Ave
MTA cop to blood drive employee: You want blood? I’ll give you blood. Just not from my arm, if you know what I mean.
–Penn Station
Bro: If it looks like blood, it coagulates like blood.
–6 Train
Girl on cell: How was Vicky’s sweet 16? [couple of seconds later] Was the blood from your nose or your ass?
–36th St & Broadway, Astoria
Overheard by: Cody
Cop: All right guy, you have two options–
Old man: Let me guess, you gonna lock me up? Man, I go to jail like summer camp.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Toon
Cop: Excuse me sir, did you drop this Metrocard?
Asian guy: Oh thank you so much, I’ve been looking for it all over the place!
Cop: You littered. Here’s your ticket.
–Kew Gardens station
Overheard by: Ting
Officer to old lady: Hey, don't leave you bag on the floor, there are terrorist everywhere.
–45th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: StriderNo9
Suit on cell: So you're gonna vote for a Muslim and a terrorist?
–MoMA
Hipster to friend: Yeah, terrorists totally love Bush.
–46th and 9th
Overheard by: choosing not to capitalize the B
Tourist: Are you guys terrorists?
–Rally for Gaza, 42nd & 7th
Overheard by: ooga booga
Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like "What do you call people who hate ketchup?" (no response) "Al-Qaeda!" (bursts out laughing) Get it? It's funny because they don't have ketchup in Iraq!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Ketchup lover
