Wednesday One-Liners Go Chasing Waterfalls

Guy in line for the bathroom: Man, it takes a lot of trust to let someone piss through your legs.

–Angelika Theater

Girl: If I had a barbecue on my stoop, three queens would pee on it on the first night. I mean, you'd think they wouldn't, since it's a historically gay street. But I've seen so many queens peeing on Christopher Street when it's nice out!

–28th & 5th

Overheard by: Donk

Really drunk girl: I have to pee so bad! I almost peed on the corner, but then I remembered I don't have a penis.

–14th St

NYU girl, immediately after taking shot of tequila: Guys, I have to pee, but I don't want to pee out the patron!

–NYU Dorm

NYU girl: I'm going to go see her! I sobered up for this! I drank tons of water! I could pee my ass out!

–8th & University

Short cop on his phone: Peed? You peed on the bed?

–21st St b/w 3rd & 2nd

Posted on November 18, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Body Parts, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Cops, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Murray Hill and Gramercy, NYU, On Cell, One-liners, Pee, Penis, Questions, Sorority Girls, Street, The Village, Theater, Trannies, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Nice Panties

Man sitting down: Your fly is open.
Cop: What?
Man: Your fly is open.
Cop, looking down: Hey, I’m going to the jail and I got my nuts hangin’ out! Thanks, man.
Man: Sure, no problem.

–7 train, 46th St, Woodside

Overheard by: Didn’t see his nuts…

Posted on November 17, 2014
Cops, Nice People, On the Subway, Private Parts, Queens

New York's Finest Wednesday One-Liners

Black kid after seeing white girl in gym clothes run by: Man, for a second I thought that white girl was running from the cops too!

–Fordham Road, The Bronx

Overheard by: run, white girl, run

Middle-aged black lady yelling on crowded train: Young black men stand the fuck up! Kill the NYPD!

–A Train

Little kid to bus driver, after a police car siren is heard: Whenever I hear a police car siren, I always think that they are getting donuts, 'cause, ya know, cops love donuts, right?

–B41 Bus

Dude: I was playing the new GTA. I drove around looking for my apartment but couldn't find it, so I just shot a bunch of cops.

–Columbus Circle

Cop with M-4 assault rifle (serious voice, on a sunny day): It's raining men out here.

–86th & Lexington

Posted on November 6, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Central Park, Cops, Crime and Punishment, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Kids, Murder, Offers and requests, On the Bus, On the Subway, Pop Culture, Race, Sensory Experiences, The Bronx, Upper East Side, Video Games, Women

Thank God for Sequels

Hipster chick: What happened here?
Cop: Everything’s alright… Spider-Man saved the day.

–Union Square subway station

Posted on November 3, 2014
Cops, Hipsters, Movies, Union Square and East Village

Did You Shave Your Eyes Again, Harry?

Crazy man to cop: Where's you hair? Where's your hair?
Cop: What did you do to yourself?
Crazy man: I didn't do nothin'. Where's your hair?

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Overheard by: Ems

Posted on October 28, 2014
Cops, Crazies, Crazy, Hair, Port Authority, Questions

I Think I Love You

Woman: Hey! Hey! I know who started the fight! You wanna know?!
Cop: Yeah, sure.
Woman: Actually, I don’t know. Hahaha. I’m going home right now to watch porn, I don’t even care! Haha.
Cop: Wow.

–Broad and Bay, Staten Island

Overheard by: Brandi

Posted on October 28, 2014
Cops, Default, Fighting and ass kicking, Offers and requests, Porn, Questions, Staten Island, Weirdness, Women

Hugh Grant Hasn’t Worked in a While

Female cop to kissing couple: Get a room!
Guy, looking up: A room?! I can’t even afford a blow job!

–Union Square

Overheard by: geneva c.

Posted on October 26, 2014
Cops, Money & Class, Union Square and East Village

Why Did He Want Our Wallets, Anyway?

Brunette: That Secret Service guy was really rude!
Redhead: I know, and he wasn't in uniform, how does he expect us to know!
Brunette: Yeah, I want to complain. He shouldn't be out here without his uniform.

–Bowling Green Subway Entrance

Posted on October 16, 2014
Cops, Girls, Stupidity, Subway stations, platforms, etc.

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Kids Say the Stupidest Things

Two boys were playing on a fire escape.

Boy #1: Okay. Now I’ll be the policeman, and you be the fireworks on Coney Island.

–Windsor Terrace

Posted on October 5, 2014
Brooklyn, Coney Island, Cops, Kids, Parades & Festitivites, People, Places

Cops