And He Wears Members Only Jackets Around the House

Hipster chick: He's not gay, he just wants everyone to think that.
Hipster chick friend: How do you know?
Hipster chick: He'll only suck cock in public.

–4th St & 2nd Ave

Posted on October 11, 2008
BJs, Compare/Contrast, Default, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Hipsters, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

Still, I've Never Seen a Straight Guy Hold Chopsticks With His Legs

Girl #1, checking out a dude in a restaurant: He's super hot, but I think he's gay.
Girl #2: Oh yeah, totally, look at the way he crosses his legs. And he's using chopsticks.
Girl #1: It's an Asian restaurant.

–Union Square

Overheard by: littleD

Posted on October 11, 2008
Beauty, Compliments, Default, Ethnic Food, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Physical appearance, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

This Is Your Brain on Stupid Customers

Customer: I'll have an egg omelet.
Cook: An egg omelet?
Customer: Yeah, one made with eggs.
Cook: Thank god you mentioned eggs. I was about to give you an omelet solely made from butter!

–Grant's Restaurant

Overheard by: AJ

Posted on October 11, 2008
Coworkers, Customers, Default, Food, Offers and requests, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Stupidity

And He No Longer Soils Himself at the Table

Teen boy: May I be excused from the table? I have to take a shit.
Older teen sister: Ewwwww, you're disgusting!
Dad: Be thankful. At least we've got him eating with utensils.

–Buddha Bar

Overheard by: Big Larry

Posted on October 10, 2008
Bars & Clubs, Brothers, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Compare/Contrast, Dads, Default, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Poop, Questions, Sisters, Teens, Words

I'm Going Into Anaphilcollins Shock

Tourist exiting theater (singing): You'll beeee in my heaaaart…
NYC native, hurrying through crowd: Death!

–Richard Rodgers Theater

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on October 10, 2008
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Comebacks, Death, Default, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Singing, Theater, Tourists, Weirdness, Words

Tonight on My Super Sweet 16 Funeral

Thug #1: Nigga, you all old-like 'n shit. You be like, sixteen goin' on sixty.
Thug #2: Me?! Nigga, you got that shit all backwards. Look at Jerome. He be sixteen goin' on dead.

–Fulton & Nassau

Posted on October 10, 2008
Age/Aging, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Death, Default, Thugs

Where a Urologist Would Just Pee on Them

Father: So what kind of doctor is that?
Five children (chorus): Plastic surgeon!
Father: That's right. A plastic surgeon fixes people's faces when people are on fire.

–Pike & Division

Overheard by: Jena

Posted on October 10, 2008
Dads, Default, Health and Hygiene, Jobs & Careers, Kids, Lower East Side, Medicine, Plastic Surgery, Questions, Words

So How's Your Family? And When'd You Get the Dick?

Man: What the fuck are you doing in here?
Woman: I'm sorry, I just had to pee.
Man: Holy shit! I can't fucking believe it. The first time I see my ex-wife in forty years is in a men's bathroom.

–Picnic House Men's Room, Prospect Park