Man #1: You have kids?
Man #2: Yeah, four sons. All boys.
–Penn Station
Man #1: You have kids?
Man #2: Yeah, four sons. All boys.
–Penn Station
Hipster girl #1 to waitress at Japanese restaurant: Hola. Como estas?
Hipster girl #2: Um, I don't think they speak Spanish.
Hipster girl #1: Well, they sure as hell don't speak English either.
–Zen, St. Mark's & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: amf
Woman leaving train to suit with open fly: (inaudible)
Suit (loudly): What is “the barn door is open?” What is that supposed to mean?
–6 Train
(during a game of wiffleball)
Guy #1: Dammit, Scott hit the fucking ball!
Guy #2: Shut up, Dave! Why are you so fucking fat?!
Guy #1: I'm fat? Well, why do you still have an incurable shitting disease?
Guy #2: Because it's incurable…dick!
–Tillary St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Dan Fuckin' Murphy
Hipster girl: Well they said her nose was going to fall off or something, so she actually hired this dude to blow the coke up her ass. Like, that was his job.
Hipster guy: I'm jealous.
Hipster girl: I know. I have a new respect for Fleetwood Mac.
–Baluchi's, East Village
Fabulous diner ordering coffee: …with half and half.
Waiter: We're a dairy free restaurant, but we have organic whole milk.
–Josie's, 74th & Amsterdam
Overheard by: Where's a dictionary?
Father: Hurry up or we'll be late! If we're late mommy is gonna spank you!
Toddler son: (shocked look)
Father: I'm kidding, mommy would never spank you, mommy would spank daddy.
Toddler son: Mommy spanks daddy?
Father (with a devious smile): Mommy spanks daddy all the time!
–Sheep Meadow, Central Park
Girl #1: Is it paranoid to think that my mother is poisoning me?
Girl #2: No, not at all.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: Mariya
Guy #1: The new Harry Potter is coming out this summer; you should read the book with me before the movie is released.
Guy #2: If I wanted to read a book filled with stories of sorcery, I'd read the bible.
Guy #1: (mouth drops open)
–Artapasta, Soho
Man #1: Yes you did!
Man #2: I didn't fuck your grandma!
–Central Park Zoo
