Boyfriend: No, seriously, you have the vagina of a nine-year-old girl.
Girlfriend (flattered): Thank you!
–72nd St
Overheard by: Dubjay
Boyfriend: No, seriously, you have the vagina of a nine-year-old girl.
Girlfriend (flattered): Thank you!
–72nd St
Overheard by: Dubjay
Ten-year-old tourist girl wearing pink Crocs: Smoking is bad for you!
Smoking queer: Crocs are for retarded kids who can't tie their own shoes.
–50th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Scott
Blue-collar guy holding elevator door: Have a good night.
Older professional lady getting off elevator: Peace out.
–Office Building, Park Avenue
Guy in stall #1: Hey, can you pass me some toilet paper? There's none here.
Guy in stall #2: Sure. (pause) Here's a bit. It ain't much.
Guy in stall #1: I'll take whatever you can give me.
Guy in stall #2: Sure, I know how it is. (starts to sing) I know how it iiiiiis, to be stranded on the toilet bowwwwwl…
–Men's Restroom, Bryant Park
Girl: He sucks at his job. How does he not get fired?
Friend: He probably uses the kid card.
Girl: The what?
Friend: You know, the “Oh, look at my kid!”
–Astor Place & Broadway
Overheard by: christine y0
Brunette: She was in a wheelchair.
Blonde: She was a bitch on wheels!
Brunette: Yeah, she'd come wheeling out and I was like: “Dammit, Conchita!” …but she could cook.
–Café Mare Gelateria
Girl: Hey…do you think that there's, like, pregnant porn out there?
Friend: You mean, porn, starring pregnant women?
Girl: Yeah.
Friend: That's gross. I don't even want to know.
Girl: Hmm… I think I'm going to look it up when I get home.
Friend: Can we please stop talking about this?
Girl: I'll send you some?
Friend (disgusted): Please. Don't.
–27th & 6th
Overheard by: sam
Older guy at table: Goddamn it!
Younger man: What's the matter?
Older guy: Do you ever get some loose skin from your ball sack stuck in you fly? I can tell you right now, it's a motherfucker!
Younger guy: No, that's why we wear underwear.
Older guy: Yeah, well back in my day I was raised without them and god forbid, as long as I live, I'll never put one on till I'm cold dead.
–Burger King, Broadway
Wannabe hip hop artist: Yo, you like hip hop?
Local: No. But he does. (points at random tourist standing still and disappears into the crowd)
–42nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Mike
Old creepster: Do you have The Princess Bride?
Employee: Let me see. (goes to shelf) No, we don't have it.
Old creepster: It's the one that's got whatshername, Sean Wright Penn. It was the film that made her career.
Employee: Right, but…
Old creepster: She used to have hair down to her waist, but she had to cut it for this film. And the whole thing is a story told by Peter Falk, he's a pretty old guy…
Employee: Right, but we don't have it.
–Circuit City, 79th & Broadway
Overheard by: EthanK
