Few Rockettes Look Like Steve Buscemi

Middle-aged male: I knew a Rockette once -not on a real personal basis, but we knew each other.
Friend: Oh, really?
Middle-aged male: Yeah… Well anyway, she got hit by a bus. She’s doin’ alright now but I mean, she’s not a Rockette anymore.

–Outside Radio City Music Hall

Overheard by: alicia rose

Posted on July 7, 2008
Accidents, Compare/Contrast, Default, Friends, Men, Rockefeller Center, Theater & Dance

Affirmations for Stupid People Causes More Trouble

(guy runs by, slams into black girl on his way to make his train)
Black girl: Excuuuuuuuse you!
Guy: I’m on fire!

–L Train

Overheard by: clitoris rex

Posted on July 7, 2008
Apologies, Black People, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Weirdness

I’m Not Even Pale and Hairy!

Lab girl #1: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I just got a Christmas tree yesterday!
Lab girl #2: Really?
Lab girl #1: Yeah, it’s decorated with candy canes and everything… God, I’m like the worst Jew in the world.

–Columbia Medical Center Lab

Posted on July 7, 2008
Christianity, Columbia University, Compare/Contrast, Default, Girls, Happiness, Holidays, Hospitals, Judaism, Students

Once Again, You Miss the Point, Raoul

Cute girl: And ew! I can’t believe she slept with her brother!
Attractive, fashionable queer: I know! And he isn’t even that cute.

–St Mark’s Place

Overheard by: paul

Posted on July 7, 2008
Beauty, Default, Family Ties, Girls, Incest, Queer guys, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

More Like “Die, Bitch!”, But Close Enough

20-something chick #1: Theresa hasn’t responded to that e-mail yet.
20-something chick #2: Is that the one where we told her we don’t like her?

–Sephora, 58th & Lex

Overheard by: Russ Wall

Posted on July 7, 2008
Default, Friends, Girls, Grocery Stores, Internet, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Weirdness

Billy Joel: “Hey!”

Girlfriend: I just don’t get it. Dan* can be such a nice guy, such a sweetheart. And then other times, he’s Satan. Something must have happened to him when he was a child.
Boyfriend: He’s from Long Island.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Not from Long Island

Posted on July 7, 2008
Boyfriends, Compare/Contrast, Compliments, Default, Girlfriends, Kids, Psychology, Satan, U.S. Geography, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

In Unrelated News, Aren’t You Glad We’re Ditching Bio Again?

Middle school kid #1: Why do they call it “PMS”?
Middle school kid #2: I dunno.
Middle school kid #1: Because “Mad Cow Disease” was taken.
(hilarious laughter ensues)
Middle school kid #2: That’s so funny. (pause) What’s “PMS”?
Middle school kid #1: I think it’s “Post Mental Syndrome” You know, when you dry up and can’t have babies.

–R Train

Posted on July 7, 2008
Babies, Boys, Default, Illness, Kids, On the Subway, Psychology, Questions, Words

At Least It Complements Your Syrupy Sweetness

Woman in stall #1: I hate it when this happens!
Woman in stall #2: What?
Woman in stall #1: These pants! They looked so nice but they flatten my ass. My ass is flat now. I look like pancake ass!

–Fitting Room, Staten Island