20-something JAP, checking out 20-something guy walking past: Hey, how are you?
20-something guy waves: Married…
JAP’s friend: Ew, who gets married?
–21st & Van Alst
Overheard by: Kire
20-something JAP, checking out 20-something guy walking past: Hey, how are you?
20-something guy waves: Married…
JAP’s friend: Ew, who gets married?
–21st & Van Alst
Overheard by: Kire
Teen girl: If you cut off a guy’s penis, how long do you think it would take for him to bleed to death?
Teen boy: Uh…
Teen girl: Hypothetically, I mean.
–Natural History Museum
White chick, examining bacteria plate: Aww, my bacteria are so cute. I have like pink ones!
Blondie: Lemme see. Ewwww… Is that what you colonized from your hand?
White chick: Yeah…?
Blondie: Ewww, you’re dirty, don’t touch me.
White chick: Fuck you, I go on the subway all the time.
Asian chick: Me too. Hey, I have some white colonies on my finger culture… Maybe I have some white in me after all.
White chick: And I have some yellow colonies! Together, we are a perfect rainbow of transcultural germs.
Asian chick: Awesome.
–Barnard Biology Lab
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Tourist mom, talking extremely loud: Nature means happiness.
Five-year-old son: Why?
Tourist mom: Because nature means life -look at how beautiful nature is.
Five-year-old son: Whoa! Now that’s nature.
Tourist mom: The trees are nice; the road not so much… Look at the sea of trains…
–LIRR
Overheard by: JUSTSHUT UP!
[Mother and four-year-old boy walking past liquor store]Mom: So we have to go to Duane Reade and… Oooh! Let’s get some wine.
Boy: Yeah!
–115th & Broadway
Little boy: …I met another girl at school who is Mexican!
Mother: Colombian! We’re Colombian!
–65th & Riverside
Girl #1: That guy over there is so attractive… And he has a huge penis. I can tell from his fingers.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Yeah, you can totally tell what a guy’s penis would look like based on their fingers. That’s how I knew it hurt when you lost your virginity before you even told me…I saw his fingers.
–1 Train
Twentysomething woman #1: When I was younger I thought eyeliner on guys was hot.
Twentysomething woman #2: Eew!
Twentysomething woman #1: No, no, when I was younger. It’s like an imaginary unicorn. You think it’s so great, but it’s not.
Twentysomething woman #2: No way, unicorns are awesome!
–Duane Reade, 14th & 1st
Overheard by: Maianess
Southern tourist, looking at opposite platform: Oooh, that’s a pretty wall.
Friend: Yeah.
Southern tourist: [Turns around.] There’s one on this side, too!
–N Train
Overheard by: Raye
Girl #1: Oh my god, did I tell you? Alex called me yesterday! And it wasn’t 6 am for once, it was 3 pm!
Girl #2: That’s great!
Girl #1: I know. He was like [low voice] “heeeeeeey” and I was like [high voice] “heeeeey!” and it was amazing. Well, not really. But it was so great.
–Starbucks, Washington Square
