Six-year-old girl #1: I’m going to write them a very stern letter about this!
Six-year-old girl #2: Who?
Six-year-old girl #1: Global warming!
Six-year-old girl #2: Global warming’s not a person, fart-face.
–Court & Degraw St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Global Warming, the person
NJ guy #1: So right after I left my parents house I met up with the hooker, best use of birthday money ever.
NJ guy #2: But you’re underage, that’s like illegal!
–McDonald’s, Times Square
Overheard by: Stewart Lane
5th grader on school trip on train: I wanna sit down!
Teacher, in southern accent: Well I want a small ass but thats not happening either now is it?!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Brandon E.
Chick in passenger’s seat: Is that a bird?
Boyfriend: Sounds like it’s fucking!
Chick: Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you?
–Toll Booth, Henry Hudson Bridge
Overheard by: bridgemaster
Schoolgirl #1: She just kept going on about chewing cunts in class.
Schoolgirl #2: Cud, you dumbass! Cows don’t chew cunt.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Manic Mouse
Young Guy, trying to hit on a girl: I’ve been thinking about starting a blog.
Girl: [silence.]Young Guy: You know, if I were to start a blog, I’d make it about t-shirts.
Girl: [silence.]
–Magnetic Field (Bar) on Atlantic Ave, Brooklyn
Front seat passenger: … So, after I was halfway over the fence, I realized that was a bad idea.
Driver: Well, what can you do?
Front seat passenger: Really, I should have just slept in the cemetery. I should have done that.
–S76 Bus
Overheard by: Dying to ask
Father yelling at his drunk son: Hey! Don’t lick my damn ciggarettes!
Son: I lick whatever I fucking want!
Father: I’ll lick your fucking ass! [People turn their heads] …What, he’s my fucking son!
–East Village
Punk #1, singing: What would you do with a dollop? A dollop? A –
Punk #2: Stop singing that shit!
–Washington Square Park
Five-year-old boy: I want a spoon of peanut butter for breakfast!
Dad: Are you allowed to eat that for breakfast? I’m not sure, let’s call your mom.
Five-year-old boy: You’re an adult, you can make those decisions.
–Bleecker St
Overheard by: Cecilia
