Do Wednesday One-Liners Get Published on Saturdays?

Boss: Wait, can I ask a city girl question? Do butterflies come from caterpillars??

–Office, 8th Ave

Overheard by: kpan

Tall blond tourist looking at Egyptian artifacts: So, are these, like, all real artifacts, or like, what? Know what I mean?

–The Metropolitan Museum

Girl to station agent: Can I go the other direction from here?

–W 103rd St

Overheard by: Emily B.

Blonde bimbo: Skydiving…is that the one done on water?

–Jerome Avenue Line

Woman, looking around crowded waiting area: I wonder how many people here are waiting for a train?

–Waiting Area, Penn Station

Overheard by: Not from New Jersey

Woman in elevator, after bumping into Al Roker: Wasn't that Tom Brokaw?

–Fisk Building

Posted on June 17, 2009
About Celebrities, All Wednesday One-Liners, Bimbettes, Bosses, Clerks, Directions, Elevators, Girls, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Insects, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Office, On the Subway, One-liners, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Sports, Street, Stupidity, The Met, Tourists, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

And We'll Be There Shortly, Woman!

Male conductor: Due to the lateness of this train, the next stop will be Bay Parkway.
(pause)
Female conductor: The next stop will be 62nd Street.
Male conductor: This train will now run express. The next stop is Bay Parkway.
Female conductor: Con-duct-tor! The next…
Male conductor: Okay, okay. The next stop is 62nd Street.

–D Train

Overheard by: I hate the D train

Posted on June 15, 2009
Conductors, Directions, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Talking/Convos, Weirdness

People Are Drawn to Closing Doors, Like Moths to a Flame

Conductor, very loudly and emphatically: This is 28th Street. 34th Street is next, stand clear of the closing doors!
Four-year-old girl to mother: Why is he upset?

–Uptown 1 Train

Overheard by: mersayseh

Posted on June 13, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Kids, Moms, On the Subway, Parents, Public Transportation, Questions

You're a D at Best, Sir.

Young woman on platform: Hey, where's the A train?
Guy, pointing at himself with both hands: Right here, baby!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Alan Q Smithee

Posted on June 9, 2009
Directions, Guys, Penn Station, Pick-up Lines, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Then Where Are All the Apples, Smart Guy?

Girl: Where is gate 68?
Port authority official: Where are you going?
Girl: New York!
Port authority official, walking away: This is New York.

–Port Authority

Posted on June 8, 2009
Directions, Girls, NYC Geography, Port Authority, Questions, Security Guards

Even 21 Jump?

Woman pointing south: What street is that way?
Man: Um, all of them.

–Central Park Mall

Posted on June 4, 2009
Central Park, Directions, Men, Parks, Philosophy, Questions, Strangers, Women

Irrationally and with All My Heart

Old man #1: Where is it?
Old man #2, looking at paper: The address is 257.
Old man #1: Good, as long as it's not 252. I hate that address.

–14th St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: EthanK

Posted on May 29, 2009
Directions, Gripes, Old People, Questions, Stupidity, Union Square and East Village

This Is Something I've Only Dreamed Of!

Conductor: Next stop, NYU. 8th Street.
Tourist teen girl #1: NYU? Is that New York University?
Tourist teen girl #2: Umm, I think so.
Tourist teen girl #1: Wow! New York University has their own stop!

–N Train

Posted on May 25, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Names, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Stupidity, Teens, Tourism, Tourists

When You Unwittingly Help a Tourist, We All Lose Out

Chubby Mideastern white tourist: Hey! Is this Houston Street?
Thug: I've had enough of you tourists! One more of this Hooostin Street shit and I'mma bust a cap in yo Midwestern fat asses!
Husband of Mideastern white tourist: I'm guessing it is.

–Houston Street

Posted on May 5, 2009
Ahhh! Real New Yorkers, Ass, Couples, Directions, Insults, Midwesterners, Only in New York, Questions, Street, Threats, Thugs, Tourism, White People

And Why Are You All Whispering?

Conductor: Hoboken train. Hoboken, Hoboken, Hoboken.
Man with earbuds, yelling to passengers: Is this the Hoboken train?

–PATH Station

Posted on May 3, 2009
Conductors, Directions, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway

Directions

And We'll Be There Shortly, Woman!