Woman pointing south: What street is that way?
Man: Um, all of them.
–Central Park Mall
Woman pointing south: What street is that way?
Man: Um, all of them.
–Central Park Mall
Old man #1: Where is it?
Old man #2, looking at paper: The address is 257.
Old man #1: Good, as long as it's not 252. I hate that address.
–14th St & 8th Ave
Overheard by: EthanK
Conductor: Next stop, NYU. 8th Street.
Tourist teen girl #1: NYU? Is that New York University?
Tourist teen girl #2: Umm, I think so.
Tourist teen girl #1: Wow! New York University has their own stop!
–N Train
Chubby Mideastern white tourist: Hey! Is this Houston Street?
Thug: I've had enough of you tourists! One more of this Hooostin Street shit and I'mma bust a cap in yo Midwestern fat asses!
Husband of Mideastern white tourist: I'm guessing it is.
–Houston Street
Conductor: Hoboken train. Hoboken, Hoboken, Hoboken.
Man with earbuds, yelling to passengers: Is this the Hoboken train?
–PATH Station
Conductor on loudspeaker: Ladies and gentlemen, we have a slight signal problem ahead of us. There are several supervisors working to flip a coin and decide how we should proceed. Once they work that out, we'll be on to 125th Street, and it should be smooth sailing from there.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: Melissa
Conductor: Do not shove! Stand clear of the doors! Ladies and gentlemen, there is another train directly behind this one. Look, people, we have to work together. If you get pick-pocketed, molested, or rubbed the wrong way, you only have yourselves to blame!
–6 Train
Overheard by: wondergirl
Conductor over intercom, after train stops: Stay calm, people. We are not going down. Repeat: this is not the Titanic, we are not going down!
–3 Train
Overheard by: C
Conductor: This train will now be running express so I suggest you get on this train… Hey you! Sitting on the bench! Get on this train now!
–R Train
Overheard by: kinda scared
Train conductor over loudspeaker: Good evening, Heather.
–Stamford-Bound Metro North Train
Overheard by: Dianachka
Conductor: Attention passengers, this is the almost always delayed 6:18 express train to Long Branch. If you were inconvenienced by the delay, shame on you, you should know New Jersey transit never operates on schedule.
–NJ Transit
Conductor: This is 7th Avenue, just three blocks from the 4th Avenue stop. You could have walked!
–F Train
Guy, refusing to hold on to train pole: I'm trying to see how stupid I can really be.
–7 Train
Overheard by: jj
Train conductor: Next stop, 42nd. If you want to transfer to the e, I think it's running on the r, so get off next stop and walk to the r line. Don't be an idiot and wait for a train that ain't coming. Get off at 42nd and go to the r line.
–A Train
Overheard by: Amy
Chubby girl, passionately arguing on cell: I really believe Fabio is so not stupid. (pause) Seriously! He just has trouble…um…communicating.
–Outside Educational Housing Services, Clark & Henry
Overheard by: Blue Steel
Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we have an idiot on board. He knows who he is.
–N Train
Lost tourist, complete with map and camera accessories: Hi, can you tell us which direction Chinatown is in?
New Yorker in a hurry: Fool, are you out of your mind? You're closer to the real China all the way up here!
–104th & Broadway
Overheard by: Yummmmm Dumplings
Conductor: This is a Queens-bound f express train. So if you don't need express, you better get the hell up off mah train! Stand clear of the closing doors.
Black hobo: Heidi ho, let's go!
–F Train
Hobo: Next stop, my dick!
Gay guy: Oh yay! This is going to be fun!
Hobo: You're weird, I was only joking.
–1 Train
