I Could Hardly Contain My Cheese Sauce

Recently engaged woman to family: So, he sent me a message saying “Hey, I was looking at your profile and I noticed we had a lot in common, so check out my profile.” So I looked at his picture and I was scared to death! And then I went through his pictures and when I saw the one of him in the macaroni suit I knew that was the man I was going to marry.
Old woman: Oh, I know. It was like that with my husband.
Recently engaged woman: I saw him in the macaroni suit and I knew I was going to marry him.

–Restaurant, 59th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Brian

Posted on January 21, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Families, Fears, Marriage, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Old People, Pictures, Restaurants & Cafes, Women

In Autumn, Odors Of Feces Overtake the Summer Scents Of Urine

Out-of-town mother: What is that smell? It smells like shit.
Sarcastic daughter: That's New York, mom.
Random black guy: Yeah, how do you like it?

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: ISmellNY

Posted on January 10, 2010
Black People, Families, Moms, Only in New York, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences, Strangers, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

How Are Wednesday One-Liners Like Network TV, Alex?

Guy to boyfriend: I think you're boring. I'm bored.

–W 15th & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Thompson

Woman on cell: I got so bored at work that I started talking to my mosquito bite! I told it to stop making me itch.

–58th St & 9th Ave

11-year-old boy to friends: I'm not ready for death. It's boring. All you do is fly around in the air.

–7 Train

Kid to family, looking at camels: I'm just gonna come right out and say it: 'dis is really fuckin' boring!

–Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: Tyler

Posted on December 23, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, Animals & Nature, Boyfriends, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Comebacks, Death, Families, Friends, Guys, Insults, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Queer guys, Relationships, Sensory Experiences, Street, The Bronx, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

It's Right in The Gospel Of Lucas

Eldest son, Coming from church in Sunday best: So, dad, does Star Wars take place in the past or the future?
Dad: The past.
(pause)
Son: Wait… that doesn't make any sense!
Dad: “Long ago, in a galaxy far, far away…”

–Bedford Ave

Overheard by: NIckET

Posted on November 28, 2009
Brooklyn, Dads, Families, Movies, Parents, Time

You Get Too Smart and You End Up Like That Guy in the Wheelchair

Daughter: I'm just thinking out loud.
Mother: Well, don't. Keep it in your head.
Daughter: But mom, it's the only way I can include you in my thoughts.
Mother: That's okay.
Daughter: But mom, don't you want to be smart?
Mother: No, I'm okay the way I am.

–Kew Gardens Road & Union Turnpike

Overheard by: Laura

Posted on November 26, 2009
Comebacks, Families, Moms, Parents, Queens, Wishes & desires

And It's Gonna Be Wih Another Girl!

Little girl #1 to family: I'm going to be 30 when I have my first baby!
Mom: You know, you can have one earlier.
Little girl #2: I'm going to be 29!

–Tea & Sympathy

Overheard by: Not Preggers

Posted on November 10, 2009
Age/Aging, Families, Family Ties, Kids, Moms, Parents, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Restaurants & Cafes, The Village

I Blame Niel Simon

British mother to young son: No, I want you to wear shoes on the subway.
British son: But I'm already barefoot, so what does it matter?

–American Museum of Natural History

Posted on November 9, 2009
Brits, Families, Moms, Museum of Natural History, Parents, Physical appearance, Public Transportation, Shoes, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Wishes & desires

Meet Edgar Allen Potassium

Boy holding food on stick at street fair: Want some, grandpa?
Grandpa: What is it?
Boy: Chocolate covered banana.
Grandpa: No, no, no! A thousand times no!

–64th St & Broadway

Overheard by: hannah g-pa