Woman: I can’t tell Matt Dillon and his brother apart.
Man: I know! I thought it was Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Woman: It is Matt Dillon on Entourage.
Man: No, it’s his brother!
Woman: Nooo, it’s Matt Dillon…
Man: Wait, is it?
–1 train, 14th St
Overheard by:
Woman #1: Were your parents Buddhists?
Woman #2: No, they just went through some rough times.
–Forest Park, Queens
Woman #1: Well, I have a nephew who’s still 10 and enjoys playing with Barbies and likes to cook. Who knows? Maybe he’ll turn out to be gay.
Woman #2: Wait, are most cooks gay? I don’t think so…
–Near United Nations
Overheard by: Brooklyn Dodgy
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
Thug #1, pointing out window: Yo, you see her? That my brother baby mother!
Thug #2: That your baby mother?
Thug #1: Nah, that my baby mother brother! No, wait…
–Q18 bus in Queens
Teen #1 (after looking up at advert for Sex and the City): Dude, Sarah Jessica Parker is like, so freakin hot!
Teen #2: She's older than your fucking mother!
Teen #1: Which like, so totally backs up my point.
–7th St
Overheard by: Joel Moore
Sales girl: Okay, so what did you want to get for her?
Old lady: Well, she’s a size five.
Sales girl: Yeah, but our sizes here run small, so you probably want to get her a seven or something.
Old lady: No, my granddaughter, she’s a five.
Sales girl: Yeah, but our sizes-
Old lady: -She’s a five.
Sales girl: Yeah, okay.
–Billabong store, Broadway
Overheard by: Kelsey
Guy #1: Man, in my family the only time we hug is at the airport.
Guy #2: My family never touches each other.
Guy #3: When my family gets together we don’t touch, make eye contact, or speak.
–Deluxe, 113th & Broadway
Overheard by: Jenni
Little girl, loudly, to security guard: My brother has a suspicious package in his pants!
Mother, pulling her away: You don't talk about that in public!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Strip search in 3…2…1…
Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron!
–Clinton Street
Overheard by: nappytee
