Father: You know I like ketchup on my hot dog.
Daughter: I do.
Father: Then why didn't you get me ketchup on my hot dog?
Daughter: Because I don't care for you.
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Jess
Father: You know I like ketchup on my hot dog.
Daughter: I do.
Father: Then why didn't you get me ketchup on my hot dog?
Daughter: Because I don't care for you.
–Metro-North Rail
Overheard by: Jess
Loud mother: So that's what this is about? Really?
Unhappy young son: (looks down, says nothing)
Loud mother: Really? That's what this is all about? An orange drink! This is all because of an orange drink?
Unhappy son: (looks down, says something barely audible)
Loud mother: I'm overreacting? You think I'm the one who is overreacting??
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
Old Russian man (loudly): I like big tutus!
Bank teller: Yes, okay.
Old Russian man: Like my wife!
–Apple Bank, 86th St
Overheard by: hatia
Frat boy #1: Dude! Your sister is hot!
Frat boy #2: I know, dude…so is my mom.
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Bone Cermark
Girl on cell: You raised me around drug addicts, and now they’re the only people I like… I don’t do drugs, I’m just drawn to the addicts!
–28th & Park
Guy: If you rub the gerbil in Vaseline and then dip it in cocaine, it just slips right up there.
–The Village
Chick: That’s what happens when you sniff baking powder — anyone would be shaking…
–LIRR
Overheard by: tanechka
Girl on cell: I know! I really need to stop calling my mom when I’m on coke.
–Waverly & Broadway
Overheard by: Spends 40K To Hear This Shit
Security guard to another: Just keep your eyes peeled, man… That’s the third crack pipe we’ve had in here in two years.
–ABC Carpet & Home store, 18th & Broadway
Overheard by: Shadey
Chick: Well, I was supposed to be a part-time barista, but I was actually a full-time coke-head.
–Sullivan St, Soho
Man to entire train: It’s hard to tolerate you, because you would have been nothing but a drug dealer in the ’80s!
–6 train
Overheard by: xan
Male cop: My brother got taken in for rape this morning. To jail.
Female cop: Yeah, one of my kids was arrested last week.
(both laugh)
–42nd St & Park Ave
Overheard by: Lynne
40-ish Jewish guy to another: Oh, guess what? My paternity test from the Bahamas came back negative, so that was good news.
–Madison Square Garden
Overheard by: Surfer Dude #1
Guy to girl: Oh, don’t! No! Don’t even think about pulling the ‘My dad committed suicide’ card! Not here, not now. It’s not fair!
–NYU
Hawker: Good morning! AM New York! Good morning! You are the father!
–50th & Broadway
Overheard by: Bronx Thomas O’Connor
Little girl: Look! Horse poop! Horse poop! My daddy’s allergic to horse poop!
–Central Park
JAP: When he told me what his father did for a living I felt a little pang in the snobby part of my heart.
–86th & Amsterdam
Chick #1: You were way too hard on my dad back there.
Chick #2: I know, I’m sorry… I just get so heated.
Chick #1: Still, “homophobic asshole” is a little harsh, don’t you think?
–Park Row
40-something woman in sweatpants: I don't believe in genealogy.
40-something woman with backpack: Huh?!
–52nd St & Broadway
Overheard by: CK//DDG
Guy: So I was talking to my grandfather last night.
Girl: The one who survived Auschwitz?
Guy: No, the one who died there.
–A train
Overheard by: Greg Pierce
