Nanny to boy blocking slide: Hi, are you going down the slide?
(kid shakes head)
Nanny: Well, can we get past you?
(kid shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share.
(Sam shakes head)
Three-year-old friend: Sam, share or I will leave you.
–69th & West End
Asian guy #1: Hey, would you date a female version of yourself?
Asian guy #2: No way bro, I don’t date white bitches.
–Columbia University
Bimbette: Well, the human brain weighs 3 lbs.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: So, I'm not really 110. I'm really 107. If you don't count my brain.
–A Train
Girl: Are you sure?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: Are you really sure?
Guy: Positive. P-O-S-O-T-O-V-E.
–Tiemann Pl & Claremont Ave
Overheard by: FriedF
Young Man #1: No, no no no!
Young Man #2: You’re wrong and they’re wrong.
Young Man #1: Naw, man, look-
Young Man #2: You are WRONG and they are WRONG.
Young Man #1: They can’t, it’s not like-
Young Man #2: A psychiatrist is a DOCTOR, man.
Young Man #1: So is a massage therapist!
–39th & 12th
Overheard by: Keri
Girl to friend: Get all your cheating in before you are married!
–Viacom Building, 44th & Broadway
Angry dude on cell: Well I bet you enjoyed fucking him last night while I was sitting outside your house watching!
–Hudson & Morton
Guy on cell: Hey sweetie… Oh, you’re so out of breath! Did you just finish having sex? [Pause.] Oh, okay, great. Just give me a call later!
–85th & 2nd
[Boy and girl are making out on a bench.]Girl, pulling away: You should really break up with her! [Make out session continues.]
–Entrance to Central Park at West 85th St
Overheard by: Bex
Man to woman, after kissing her for 20 minutes: C’mon, let’s go find your husband and my wife.
–Bryant Park
Man talking to friend in hallway: And so he says to me: "I never promised that I wouldn’t try to sleep with your wife."
–Basement, Mt Sinai Hospital
Overheard by: scrubs
Checkout girl to another: He said it wasn’t cheating because I’m his favorite.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: David
Dinner guest #1: What do you mean, ‘go back to nature’? I grow tomatoes on my fire escape — is that like going back to nature?
Dinner guest #2: Well, sometimes when I’m in Central Park I don’t know where the fuck I am!
–Dinner party, 502 W 27th St
Gothic underage-looking stripper: Oh my god we have been looking everywhere for stripper shoes!
More underage-looking gothic stripper: Maybe this is God’s way of telling us not to be strippers.
–Macdougal & Bleecker
Overheard by: Zubin
Hipster girl: So afterwards he was like, “Hold up. Can I just stop in quickly and buy a vibrating cock ring?”
Hipster friend: He did that to me too!
–7th & Greenwich
Overheard by: sounds like a good time
