Wednesday One-Liners Won't Go to Brooklyn to Eat

Elderly woman yelling at man looking at map: Where you going? What color is your train? Is it yellow or orange? This train is green. You should get on a red train. (singing) Red, orange, yellow, green, blue. Oh, and brown. Can't forget that. Just don't go to Brooklyn. No. No. No-o-o-o. Not there.

–4 Train

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl on phone: My friend said that's probably why I don't like Brooklyn–because I have the night of the living dead outside my window…

–Amsterdam & 112th

Upper East Side man: If you really want to rough it, go to Brooklyn.

–84th & 2nd

Little girl shouting: Everyone in this entire building is going to Brooklyn!

–Grand Central

Posted on February 8, 2015
Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Colors, Columbia University, Death, Directions, Film, Girls, Grand Central, Kids, Men, Old People, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Upper East Side, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

Racism and Chauvinism, All In One Sentence

Guy #1: My girl’s got Asian eyes, though.
Guy #2: Man, but it’s not her eyes anybody looks at.

–Ave A & 6th Street

Overheard by: Heather

Posted on February 8, 2015
Girls, Multiculturalism, Overheard Style, Union Square and East Village

Every Minute You Spend at Home Becomes the Walk of Shame

Tall brunette: I wasn’t thaaaat drunk.
Shorter blonde: You fucked your roommate!

–6th b/w 1st & A

Overheard by: laughing

Posted on February 8, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Friends, Girls, Relationships, Sex, Union Square and East Village

Their Suicides Are Getting Increasingly Trifling

NYU Girl #1: Meanwhile, my boyfriend is being a huge prick.
NYU Girl #2: Meanwhile, you’re sleeping with a guy on your hall.

–Washington Square Park

Posted on February 8, 2015
Girls, Infidelity, Lower Manhattan, Parks, Relationships, Students

Dad Left His “A” Game Somewhere in the Eighties

Girl #1: Okay, so you know how my dad asked me if I wanted to see Counting Crows and Maroon 5 last week?
Girl #2: Yeah, what the hell was he thinking?
Girl #1: I dunno man, but today he asked me if I wanted to see Rush.
Girl #2: Dude, what the fuck?
Girl #1: Well in his defense, he thought they were Journey.

–Pizzeria Uno, South Street Seaport

Posted on February 8, 2015
Default, Girls, Music, Offers and requests, Parents, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

…Are You in Heat Again?

Girl in back of crowd: Meow!
Boy in front of crowd: Meredith!? Is that you!?

–Astor Place

Posted on February 7, 2015
Boys, Gay Man's Best Friend, Girls, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

That Would Be Dangerous

20-year-old: Mom, I have definitely heard these songs before.
Mother: Honey, this isn’t a new musical.

–Schoenfeld Theatre

Overheard by: Samuel M.

Posted on February 7, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Girls, Moms, Theater, Theater & Dance, Time

Wednesday One-liners Are All Over the Map

Chick: Does India have internet access?

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: pixelvisions

Posted on February 7, 2015
All Wednesday One-Liners, Girls, Global Geography, Idiots, Internet, Rockefeller Center, Stupidity

May I Assume Your Request for a Slice Was Purely Pretextual?

Bag lady: You got some change so I can get a slice?
Girl: I just bought this Stromboli and I won't eat it. You want it?
Bag lady: What is it?
Girl: It's kinda like pizza.
Bag lady, looking at Stromboli: Nah.

–81st St & Broadway

Overheard by: Lolita

Posted on February 7, 2015
Bag ladies, Girls, Homeless, Offers and requests, Pizza, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

I Was Hoping Not to Have to Specify

Hobo: Hey, lady, can ya please spare some change?
Chick: You need subway fare? I think I have a few bucks left on my metro card…
Hobo: That ain’t gonna help me, bitch. It’s booze I need! Booze!

–53rd & Lex station

Posted on February 7, 2015
Comebacks, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Girls, Hobos, Insults, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Panhandling

Girls

…Are You in Heat Again?