Girl #1: She wouldn’t even take his name?
Girl #2: And she even refused to hyphenate? That’s ridiculous!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Noelle
Girl #1: So both the girls took off their panties and spread their cheeks for the crowd. And you would not believe it, but the one girl started eating the other one’s ass!
Girl #2: Nothing says “goodnight” like a good ass licking.
–Vespa, Upper East Side
Overheard by: Steve
Young male professional: So your dad’s cool with you not eating?
Young female professional: Yeah, he’s totally fine with it. He’s gonna start next week too.
–Union Square
Guy: I need to go to Europe more often, I kinda compare it to sex, I always come back more relaxed and a little more pleasant to be around.
Girl with him: Gross.
–6 Train
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, I celebrate Easter. I’m Catholic. It’s tradition for my family to go gambling in Atlantic City that day.
Teenage girl #2: Wait, isn’t that one of the seven unforgivable vices? You’re doing it on Easter, too. Haha.
Teenage girl #1: Yeah, well… We don’t really believe in that religion bullshit. Atlantic City allows us to stick it to the man.
Teenage girl #1: Is that Jesus? Wow, you’re going to hell.
–51st & Park Ave
Girl #1: MTV is putting out another one of those stupid beach shows where they just film stuck-up bitches.
Girl #2: They have so fucking many of those, they’re pointless, they need to do something different.
Girl #1: Yeah! They should film us, that would be awesome.
Girl #2: Totally, I would watch it.
(pause)
Girl #1: My ankles hurt!
Girl #2: Yeah, my left one hurts.
Girl #1: My right does.
–Park & Lexington
Overheard by: Emily J.
Little girl to mother: Puberty means the period, right?
Mother to little girl: Yes, and the breasts. Don’t forget about the breasts.
–47th & Lexington
Overheard by: Simun
20-something girl: Today I saw the cutest rat, it was just sitting there cleaning itself.
20-something guy: No way! I saw a cute rat today too. When I came to New York I thought that all the rats would be huge with glowing eyes and sharp fangs, but I kind of wanted to keep it… Look! I even wrote it down. (gets out notebook) Saw first rat today, it was surprisingly cute.
–4 Train Station
Girl #1: She don’t have no stretch marks or nothin’.
Girl #2: If I looked like her, I’d be able to work at Lace.
Girl #1 (enviously): Lace…
–46th St, Astoria
Tween girl to friends: Did you know kissing is good for your health?
Cashier lady: Kissing *who*?
–Loehmann’s Upper West Side
