Girls

Nyu girl: Oh, look at that squirrel! It’s all black!
Nyu boy: It’s a squigger.

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Squacist

Headline by: Tim

Runners-Up:
· “400 Years Of Oppression Pending” – Mistress Squidia
· “Actually, I Think Those Are Called “Rats”” – Jen
· “And I Fount It Weird It Was Carrying a Water Melon and Chicken Nuggets.” – Waleed
· “And It Is Still Waiting For 40 Acres and a Mule!” – gab pezo
· “This Used to Be a Decent, Gray-Squirrel Neighborhood.” – KJM
· “You Can Tell From the Tiny, Tiny Bling.” – Mollena’s Blog” target=”_blank”>Mollena Williams

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

British girl #1: I’m hungry.
British girl #2: You know, we should eat at McDonald’s.
British girl #1: Are you for serious?
British girl #2: No, it was just jokesies.
British girl #1: Well, it was not funny, Angeline!

–Times Square

Loud black girl #1: If you got the same father but different mothers you half siblings. If you got the same mother but different fathers you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: No it ain’t! You’re wrong.
Loud black girl #1, to older black man standing in front of them: Excuse me, sir. You look older and wiser than us. Which one of us is right?
Older black man: If you got the same mamma y’all sistas.
Loud black girl #2: That’s not right.
Loud black girl #1: You just wait till we get out this train and have service and we will both text message Google and see who’s right. Same mamma makes you whole siblings!
Loud black girl #2: Fine, but you wrong.
Loud black girl #1: Yes you are, cause you all come out the same pussy! It’s the pussy that matters!

–6 Train

Overheard by: Alie

Four-year-old girl, riding waspy dad’s shoulders: Daddy, are housing prices going to go down any time soon?
Dad: I sure as hell hope so.

–187th & Broadway

Overheard by: trump-i-poo

Michelle: Hey, I wanted to go first, what the hell! You always cut me!
Asian friend, playfully sarcastic: Haha, hey, relax there, tiger. Ohhh yeah, everything is all about Michelle! Did you hear that sir, it’s all about Michelle? Don’t mess with her!
Michelle: Haha, shut up!
[Thirty seconds later.]Bus driver, on intercom: Just so everyone is aware, it’s all about Michelle. Don’t mess with that one.

–Port Authority Bus Terminal

Chick: No, seriously, man, I think your cat has rabies…
Guy, offended: And I thought you had rabies when I come home and find you hiding in my curtain yesterday, but I didn’t say anything then, did I?

–Greenwich Village

Girl #1: She asked us once if Jesus had a last name.
Girl #2: Oh. [Pauses.] Wait, I know this one.

–Penn Station

Little girl, pointing at Andy Warhol portrait of Marilyn Monroe: Mommy, who’s that lady?
Mom: That’s Elizabeth Taylor, honey.
Little girl: Oh, hello, Elizabeth.

–The Moderne Hotel, 55th & Broadway

Four-year-old cute tourist girl: Mommy, people are different in New York!
Tourist mom: They’re all fuckin’ crazy.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Natasha G

Hipster guy trying to make out with hipster girl: Come on baby, I swear I’m not drunk.
Exasperated hipster girl: Oh my god, I didn’t say you’re drunk, I said you have mono.

–Friday Night Bar Crawl, West 4th St