Guy: Naw, you just stuck on stupid. I told you, you should’ve dropped down and sucked that nigga’s dick.
Girl, resigned: Yeah…
–1st & Union, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nat
Guy: Naw, you just stuck on stupid. I told you, you should’ve dropped down and sucked that nigga’s dick.
Girl, resigned: Yeah…
–1st & Union, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Nat
Girl: Last night we went to a party in New Jersey.
Guy: On purpose?
–Cherry Tree Bar, 4th Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: ashley friedman
College girl #1: Which way to the Eiffel Tower?
Suit, puzzled, pointing East: That way?
College girl #2: How far is it?
Suit: … About three thousand miles.
College girl #1: No! No! [Makes peak with fingertips of both hands.] The… Eiffel… Tower!
Suit: Yeah, that way about three thousand miles — across the Atlantic Ocean — in Paris.
College girl #2, also making peak with hands: No! No! It’s a… It’s a… The Empire State Building!
Suit, pointing at looming Empire State Building: The Empire State Building is right there.
College girl #2: You have to excuse us — we’re from Oregon.
–45th & 5th
Girl looking at giant sculpture of baby just out of the womb: Is that a penis, Mommy?
Mother: No. That’s an umbilical cord, not a penis.
–Brooklyn Museum
Daughter: Oh, Mom! Look, there goes all those comic books kids are reading.
Mother: That’s a cult. Hurry up the escalator.
–Comic book section, Borders, 33rd & 7th
Chick #1: Isn’t he, like, really possessive?
Chick #2: Well, he’s a computer engineer.
–‘SNice Restaurant
Chick #1: Can you hand me my eye drops? They’re in my bag.
Dude: What do you need them for?
Chick #1: My eye-ritis.
Dude: Wait… Eye-ritis? Like arthritis?
Chick #1: Yeah…
Chick #2: Guess how she got it? She slapped herself! [Laughs.]Chick #1: And now I probably have AIDS.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Noah Tizzle
Chick: So, wait — he’s dating her?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: But he lives with his ex-boyfriend?
Dude: Of 13 years. Yes.
Chick: Hmmm.
–Ace Bar, 5th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: santa’s boy toy
Woman on Bluetooth: How’s the weather like in your New York?
–33rd & Broadway
Old lady: Geez! Man! It is really cold here! [Looks at other lady] This is why I live in Brooklyn!
–96th & Broadway
Brit tourist to another: Eeee, I knew it were gonna be cold, but I forgot we’d have to, like, go outside.
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Chick on cell: Why can’t you pick me up, Dad? … I don’t want to wait for the bus — it’s too cold out… Okay, thanks. See you later. [Hangs up phone.] Asshole.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Overheard by: Sternie
Queer hipster: It’s gonna be cold this weekend. Like, negative four or negative zero.
–Essex Restaurant, LES
Pilot: Welcome aboard our plane this afternoon, with direct service to Atlanta. The current weather in Atlanta is actually colder than it is here, so it sucks to be you.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: jaybrrd
