Little girl: Mommy, I have a headache.
Mom: Well, maybe we should just get you some sake.
Little girl: What?
Mom: I mean tea. Hot tea.
–Grey’s Art Museum
Little girl: Mommy, I have a headache.
Mom: Well, maybe we should just get you some sake.
Little girl: What?
Mom: I mean tea. Hot tea.
–Grey’s Art Museum
Girl: Wait, you know I got hit by a car, right?
Guy: What?!
Girl: Yeah, it happened the other day.
Guy: What happened?
Girl: Oh, I was just walking across the street and then this car came and hit me, and I fell down. This lady watching was all, ‘Oh my god, I thought you were dead, but then you got up.’ It was totally embarrassing.
Guy: Don’t you mean traumatic?
Girl: Well, that too. I mean, my skirt flew up when I fell…
–Stuyvesant High
Dominican girl #1, over a Nextel Two-Way: Yo. What’s up?
Dominican girl #2 across aisle, on her own Nextel Two-Way: Nuttin’. What’s up with you?
Dominican girl #1: Are you going to Jimmy’s party?
Dominican girl #2: Yeah, are you?
Dominican girl #1, pressing talk button too soon: When are you going? [Dominican girl #2 didn’t get message and doesn’t answer, so #1 yells across aisle, without phone.] Quit boxing me bitch! [To herself] Fucking Dominicans.
–Queens-bound R train
Overheard by: Rich
Guy: I was in Vegas with my mother, and she was complaining that she was the only flat-chested girl in the city, but flat is totally in right now.
Girl: Flat’s been in since I was, like, thirteen.
–Macy’s
Overheard by: katieb
Hobo: Excuse me, do you have some change so I can buy some dinner?
Girl: Sorry, I don’t carry cash.
Hobo: I bet you’d have some cash if I pulled out my 9mm [makes fake gun with his hand].
Girl, nonplussed: No, I really wouldn’t.
–14th & 3rd
Guy, after Bar results: Oh, hi there.
Girl: Hi.
Guy: So…
Girl: So… Big day.
Guy: Yeah. It’s big. Big day.
Simultaneously to one another: So you’re…
Girl: Happy?
Guy: Um. Yeah. Pretty happy. You?
Girl: I’m happy!
Together: Yeah!
Hobo: Shut the fuck up!
–5 train
Dude: It’s Kurt Cobain’s birthday soon.
Grungy hipster girl: Reeeally?
Skinny frat boy: Too bad he shot himself in the head.
Dude: Haha, yeah. Shotgun!
–New School dorm
Overheard by: Cameron
Girl: I met this guy last summer… He was French…
Guy: That means he was gay?
–1 train
Overheard by: olga torrey
Girl: Oh, has your ear been penetrated?
Boy: It’s called ‘pierced,’ Maddie, not ‘penetrated.’ Pierced.
–Central Park
Girl #1: She’s such a fucking bitch.
Girl #2: She’s such a motherfucking bitch.
Girl #1: Yeah, but she’s hot.
Girl #2: Yeah, she’s really fucking hot.
–7th & Ave A
