Girl #1: Ewww! Boar’s Head!
Girl #2: That’s the brand.
Girl #1: Oh.
–Food Emporium, 68th & Broadway
Overheard by: thea
Girl looking at giant sculpture of baby just out of the womb: Is that a penis, Mommy?
Mother: No. That’s an umbilical cord, not a penis.
–Brooklyn Museum
Daughter: Oh, Mom! Look, there goes all those comic books kids are reading.
Mother: That’s a cult. Hurry up the escalator.
–Comic book section, Borders, 33rd & 7th
Chick #1: Isn’t he, like, really possessive?
Chick #2: Well, he’s a computer engineer.
–‘SNice Restaurant
Chick #1: Can you hand me my eye drops? They’re in my bag.
Dude: What do you need them for?
Chick #1: My eye-ritis.
Dude: Wait… Eye-ritis? Like arthritis?
Chick #1: Yeah…
Chick #2: Guess how she got it? She slapped herself! [Laughs.]Chick #1: And now I probably have AIDS.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Noah Tizzle
Chick: So, wait — he’s dating her?
Dude: Yeah…
Chick: But he lives with his ex-boyfriend?
Dude: Of 13 years. Yes.
Chick: Hmmm.
–Ace Bar, 5th St, between Ave A & B
Overheard by: santa’s boy toy
Woman on Bluetooth: How’s the weather like in your New York?
–33rd & Broadway
Old lady: Geez! Man! It is really cold here! [Looks at other lady] This is why I live in Brooklyn!
–96th & Broadway
Brit tourist to another: Eeee, I knew it were gonna be cold, but I forgot we’d have to, like, go outside.
–Central Park
Overheard by: birdw0rks
Chick on cell: Why can’t you pick me up, Dad? … I don’t want to wait for the bus — it’s too cold out… Okay, thanks. See you later. [Hangs up phone.] Asshole.
–Bronx-bound 4 train
Overheard by: Sternie
Queer hipster: It’s gonna be cold this weekend. Like, negative four or negative zero.
–Essex Restaurant, LES
Pilot: Welcome aboard our plane this afternoon, with direct service to Atlanta. The current weather in Atlanta is actually colder than it is here, so it sucks to be you.
–LaGuardia
Overheard by: jaybrrd
Father to son: Well, I guess she’ll just have to become a stripper…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Lezbitron
Girl on phone: I guess we should go ahead with the strippers and do it.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: MG
Middle-aged woman: I don’t know. I mean, can you put a 20 in the G-string?
–Metro-North, Harlem Line
Frat boy: Hey, man, belly dancers ain’t strippers. I learned that the hard way.
–AMC Theaters, Lincoln Center
Girl to pal: Well, where do you want your ashes spread? A strip club?
–12th & 3rd
Overheard by: Talia
Blonde: Wait, are you Jewish?
Brunette: No. I’m Colombian.
–96th & 5th
Australian guy, shocked at pixie chick peeing on nearby steps: Does that girl not have her pants on?!
Australian girl, unaware: What? [Both turn to stare.]
Pixie chick’s guy friend: Yes, that’s right! She’s peeing!
–St. Mark’s Pl, between 1st Ave & Ave A
Overheard by: justin
