Dude, Nobody Listens to The Wednesday One-Liners Anymore

Young woman on cell: So I said to him, are you going to listen to Barbra Streisand forever?

–Christopher & Bleecker

Overheard by: Korky

20-something girl: I'm a teenager! I collect pogs and say "suck it," and listen to Kriss Kross!

–Washington Square Park

Overheard by: Claire H.

Guy: Man, these guys are like The Beatles of my generation.

–In Line for Cypress Hill Show, Nokia Theatre

Burly MTA contractor: I mean imagine if it was a dude singing "I kissed a guy and I liked it."

–Chambers St Subway Station

Overheard by: sarah

Trendy girl: I can't believe they charge $1.29 for a song now. What song is worth $1.29?!? Well, I guess "Don't Stop Believing" and "We Are the Champions"… basically any Queen song.

–Coldstone Creamery, Astor Place

Overheard by: Any Britney Song

20-something girl to 20-something boyfriend: Don't dress up like Elton John because I want you to. Dress up like Elton John because you want to.

–Halloween Shop, 11th St & Broadway

Posted on October 15, 2014
9 to 5-ers, About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fashionistas, Gays and Lesbians, Girls, Guys, Insults, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Store, Street, Subway stations, platforms, etc., Theater, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Washington Square Park, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, West Village, Wishes & desires

There's a Wednesday One-Liner in My Hair! Get It Out! Get It Out!

Guy: I don't think bees even have vaginas.

–23rd & 3rd

Suit to another: I want him scrutinized. At a gnat's ass level!

–Midtown Office

Middle school thug: I been radioactivatin' spiders in my kitchen.

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Mother to five-year-old boy: No, you can't buy grandma a plastic spider for Christmas!

–74th St & Broadway

Overheard by: Harriet Vane's Husband

Guy on cell: Hey, did I tell you I got drunk last night and ordered 1,500 ladybugs off the internet?

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Ashley

Posted on October 15, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Brooklyn, Drinking & Drunk People, Family Ties, Gifts, Guys, Insects, Internet, Kids, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Moms, Money & Class, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Office, On Cell, On the Subway, Parents, Science, Sensory Experiences, Shopping, Street, Suits, Teens, Thugs, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vagina, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires

It's Always Sunny in Wednesday One-Liner

Swaying hobo with outstretched arms, as it starts to drizzle: I make it rain, I make it rain, I make it rain on you, hoes!

–14th St & University Place

Conductor over PA, on sunny 50-degree day: Due to inclement weather, the 2 and 3 trains will be running on the local track.

–Downtown 1 Train

Overheard by: Ladle

Bag lady: I'm not selling ass, just panhandling. It's too cold.

–9th Ave & 25th St

Really tall dude to no one in particular, very energetically: It's a beautiful day, oh my god! I'm gonna cancel all my appointments and go on a walk!

–2nd & Bedford

Angry stranded guy: And you were all like "it doesn't snow in the city, there are too many cars!"

–Bleecker St

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Ass, Bag ladies, Brooklyn, Cars and Driving, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Conductors, Guys, Hobos, Jobs & Careers, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Passengers, Public Transportation, Strangers, The Village, Weather, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness

Wednesday Out-Liners

Cop to others, coming out of bodega: I was into fucking rainbows even before the gays.

–Bedford & S 3rd

Overheard by: Rocky

Tall blue-collar guy to short blue-collar guy: So, how did your date with that guy go? Did you get any action?

–Broadway

Guy on cell: I still don't see how being a dude and preferring other dudes sexually makes me gay.

–Q Train

Hipster on cell: This isn't gay, it's revenge!

–Ave C & 7th St

Guy to friends, matter of factly: So apparently he went there for drugs and/or homosexual sex.

–Rockefeller Center

30-something woman to another: Because she's gay, does that mean I need to pay for everything?

–Central Park

Overheard by: Tom Guest

Posted on October 14, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, Backdoor, Blue-collar workers, Brooklyn, Central Park, Cops, Coworkers, Dating, Drugs, Friends, Gays and Lesbians, Gender issues, Guys, Hipsters, Money & Class, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Parks, Questions, Rockefeller Center, Sexuality, Street, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

Thanks to this Site, Now You’ve Told All Women

Guy #1: I’m a good guy, I swear.
Guy #2: He really is. Only draw lines on weekends.

The girl leaves.

Guy #1: Dude, why did you have to say that? Sure, everyone does it, but it’s secret guy code: never tell a woman!

–76th & 2nd

Posted on October 13, 2014
Etiquette, Guys, Upper East Side

Even General Powell?

Big black guy #1: Yo, does anybody know where we get off to go uptown?
White passenger: The next stop.
Big back guy #1: Yo, everyone shut up and listen to the white nigga! He’s givin’ us directions!
Big black guy #2: Ain’t no such thing as a white nigga, fool!

–F Train

Posted on October 12, 2014
Black People, Default, Directions, Guys, NYC Geography, Offers and requests, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Race, White People

“Then whose wallet did I lift?”

Guy: So he finally got the guy away from the mark.
Girl: Wait, who’s the mark?
Guy: The new guy she’s fucking.

–14th & 8th

Posted on October 12, 2014
Girls, Guys, Sex & Relationships, The Village, Thievery

Sometimes We Even Have Sex

Dude #1: Lots of people tell me I’m the gayest straight man they know.
Dude #2: Mmmm… No, I know a gayer straight guy than you.

–F station, Bergen St

Overheard by: Rose Fox

Posted on October 11, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Default, Guys, On the Subway, Sexuality

Dude, Where Are My Wednesday One-Liners?

Suit on cell: You know, in the 80s everyone and their brother were making limos in their basement.

–17th & Broadway

Overheard by: Vespa

(obnoxious pimped-out car revs up at stop sign, then tears down the road)
Old guy: That guy's goin' back to the future! 88 miles per hour!

–9th & Stuyvesant

Tough-looking woman to younger one: Let me teach you how to break into a car…

–27th b/w 6th & 5th

Overheard by: Kyle

Russian guy on cell (in Russian): I am not seeing her as a woman, I am seeing her as a potential driver of a vehicle.

–Lower East Side

50-something woman: I haven't seen a good pimpmobile since the seventies. I mean, what happened to all the purple, maroon, and gold? What is all of this crap with yellow hummers and black Escalades these days, it's like all the pimps went to finishing school sometime in 1981.

–Central Park

Overheard by: Graham Davis

Posted on October 11, 2014
All Wednesday One-Liners, Cars and Driving, Central Park, Colors, Compare/Contrast, Crime and Punishment, Family Ties, Foreigners, Guys, Lower East Side, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Old People, On Cell, Suits, Threats, Union Square and East Village, West Village, Women

For Compliments, Like Most Guys?

Guy in business casual: Deer, zombies, Nazis… They're all fair game in my book.
Friend: I've never been hunting before, but I do like fishing.

–73rd St

Overheard by: Irish Dave

Posted on October 11, 2014
Compare/Contrast, Friends, Guys, Hitler/Nazis, Upper East Side, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Weirdness