Girl: Well, it’s not as if he’s just going to go around aborting fetuses.
Guy: Yeah, you’re right.
–Fordham University Rose Hill
Overheard by: Jessica
Guy #1: It is so over, but he doesn’t know it yet.
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: Yeah. Too much wifey drama.
–The Roxy, W. 18th Street
Overheard by: Carlynn Houghton
Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!
–Christopher & Bedford
Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.
–Broadway
Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!
–Penn Station
Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: R
Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Guy, in chinese: Do you think I'm Harry Potter?
–Vivi Bubble Tea Bar
Girl on cell outside art bar: And I was like "Dumbledore, try some jeans."
–8th Ave & Horatio St
Overheard by: Jean Ann
Cute girl graduating to friend: I hate gowns… How does Harry Potter stand it?
–Columbia University Business School Graduation
Overheard by: Jen
Guy, after watching new Harry Potter movie: Man… that's it? That was a lap dance!
–42nd Street Movie Theater
Crazy woman wrapped in shawls: I'd kidnap and fuck Harry Potter for an eight ball of coke. (to onlooker) Why aren't you at work?
–Brooklyn Theater
Overheard by: JesseJack (I've got a Job)
Guy #1: …So he killed himself.
Guy #2: Wow.
Guy #1: Yeah. But at least he gave her gonorrhea first.
–Palladium elevator, East 14th Street
Store employee over loudspeaker: Attention shoppers. The time now is 9 pm. This store is now closing, please bring all your items to the front register.
Loud guy in the back: I don’t want to go home!
–238th St & Broadway
Overheard by: Mandy
White trash girl, looking out of bus window: Look at Ed*. He looks like a fucking lumberjack. He needs a shave.
White trash guy: That Ed* -he’s a fucking crackhead.
White trash girl: I thought he smoked pot?
White trash guy: Crack, pot -what’s the difference?
Hipster guy sitting behind them: Excuse me, I’m Ed*’s best friend. He’s definitely a pothead. He never does crack. But he does look like a lumberjack.
–Q54 Bus
Guy: This place has some really cool stuff.
Girl: (silence)
Guy: But I feel like it mainly has stuff for girls.
Girl: (silence)
Guy: Yeah, so do you know any good bars around here?
Girl: (silence)
Guy: Do you not speak English?
Girl: Oh! You were talking to me?
–Bedford Ave
Guy #1 discussing recent State of the Union address: So, one person takes a drink every time he says ‘America,’ and the other person takes a drink every time he says ‘Iraq.’
Guy #2: Whoa…
–24th & 6th
Overheard by: erin
Conductor #1: Grand Street next, right?
Conductor #2: What?
Conductor #1: Grand Street is next, right?
Conductor #2: That’s what I said.
Conductor #1: Okay, just checking.
Guy: Watch we stop at DeKalb.
–D train
