Guy #1: Yesterday this girl said she wanted to throw herself in front of the train and I’m like, “This bitch is crazy.”
Guy #2: Really?
Guy #1: I mean, I see that motherfucka coming and that shit ain’t gonna happen, you know?
Guy #2: Maybe she was depressed.
Guy #1: Are you kidding? That shit is pancake style…bitch is crazy.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Nander
Guy #1: I don’t think aliens are aliens.
Guy #2: Oh no. Me neither.
Guy #1: I think aliens are just regular people who evolved a different way.
Guy #2: I have always believed that. Everyone knows that.
–Astor Place
Mother to preschool-aged child: That's the New York Stock Exchange. That's where we lose all our money.
–Outside NYSE
Overheard by: Angel
Man to four-shoe-pair-buying wife: It's people like you who confuse the economists.
–Macy's
Toll booth operator to chick in car during rush hour: So, what's your take on the economy these days?
–Verrazano Bridge
Young dudes, watching suits take Queens train at 9 am: Oooh! They got fired.
–7 Train
Overheard by: Only in Brooklyn
Guy #1: Have you ever slept with my wife?
Guy #2: [laughs]
–19th & 5th
Overheard by: X
Girl on bike: I want a penis. Can I have a penis?
Guy on bike: Maybe later.
Girl on bike: Cause this way we don’t have to worry about babies.
–Central Park
Overheard by: Steve E
Guy: I mean, you don't really need a shotgun to kill deer. I think a bow and arrow is much cooler.
Girl: Totally.
–Otto's, 14th & B
Overheard by: HaleyBailey
Guy #1: I met Cary Grant the actor once; what a nice man he was.
Guy #2: As opposed to Cary Grant, not-the-actor?
–Marriott Marquis elevator, Times Square
Overheard by: ginger petunia
Twitchy dude to no one in particular: What? You selling something? What you selling? You all are devils! Devil worshipers! Bunch of devil worshipers! Devils, devils, devils! See you in hell! Oh…I won't be there, though.
–C Train
Hipster girl on cell: No, the black marks are from me cheating on you with Satan. (pause) Yeah, now I'm pregnant and he won't marry me.
–23rd & 5th
Overheard by: Louisa
Young guy on cell, about video game: I gave them my soul. I gave them my soul! See, my soul legally belongs to you, so you tricked them. (pause) Give him his soul! Give him his soul! What? What? Too late!
–93rd St, Bay Ridge
Screaming man with ashes on forehead to man walking past on Ash Wednesday: You're going to hell you motherfucker!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: BK
Woman on cell: Satan don't wear no panties, negro. That shit flies free.
–Astoria, Queens
Overheard by: Celia
Guy #1: That’s so gangsta, bro!
Guy #2: What’s so gangsta about it? They’re just feeding monkeys.
–Bronx Zoo
Overheard by: Angelina Salgado
Dude #1: I really need to start acting like a bitch more often.
Dude #2: [Silence.]Dude #1: At least that way I’ll get more free dinners.
–57th & 10th
Overheard by: Sam
