Tourist: Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to 37th Street?
Hipster: Seriously?
Tourist: Well, I’m visiting…
Hipster: Look, man… You’re on 42nd Street now. Walk that way, and if the sign says 43rd Street, you’re going the wrong way. Turn around and go the other way. When the numbers go down, you’re going the right way.
Tourist: So, the streets are numerical.
Passerby #1: Jesus Christ!
Passerby #2: Oh, you people stop it! He didn’t know there would be math on his trip to the city.
–42nd & 8th
Hipster cashier: Yeah, and when I’m not working here, I just sit on MySpace and take pictures of my cat and shit.
Female customer: Sounds like the life…
–Whole Foods, Union Square
Overheard by: catherine
Indie guy: There are so many people here I know from MySpace, but none of them will look me in the face.
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Guy: God, why is there always something with this place? Who are all of these lame yuppies here?
Girl: Who the fuck knows? But man, I swear, until White people learn how to dance, I am sooo boycotting shows at the Knitting Factory…
–Knitting Factory, Leonard Street
Overheard by: astralgirl01
Homeless guy: Yo, yo. Can I get a donation to my broke-ass foundation?
Hipster guy: Sorry, dude.
Homeless guy: Aww, come on brother. Just pretend that you love me.
–5th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: some girl
Hipster girl #1: What are all those flags for?
Hipster girl #2: Isn't the Puerto Rican parade today?
Disillusioned passerby: Oh, great! More rapes in the park!
–Delancey & Orchard, Lower East Side
Overheard by: K Swin
Hipster: Man, it’s like…SoHo’s becoming the next Williamsburg.
–SoHo
Hipster guy: Suck my balls.
Preppy girl: But…you have scabies.
–Grand Central
Hipster girl: Oh, by the way: why did your place smell like piss?
Hipster guy: Matt* got drunk and pissed everywhere last night.
Hipster girl: And when you say Matt* you mean you?
Hipster guy: Yeah, I might.
–Lorimer St
Chick on cell: It attacked me this morning. I attacked it this afternoon.
–113th St
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Six-year-old boy on train platform to grown man eyeing him: Stop looking at me or I'm going to beat you up!
–NJ Transit
Overheard by: Turning away now.
Hipster on cell: Wait…so he hit you with the broom first, right?
–60th & Lex
Overheard by: Easy Does It
Shopper on her cell: If one of these little kids steps on my toes one more time I'm gonna pinch the motherfuckers.
–Ikea in Red Hook
Woman in bathroom: No, there's no toilet paper. You wanna throw down?
–Port Authority
Hipster: Jesus! This place is worse than Austin seven years ago!
–Bedford St. Station, Williamsburg
Overheard by: K.
