Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Rich chick: So now he’s telling me we need a kid. I don’t want one, but he says we can adopt and avoid all the messy stuff.
Friend: So are you going to?
Rich chick: I said I’d consider it if we can get one that’s actually white. You know. ‘Cause you never really know what they’re giving you.
Friend: That’s so true.
–Macy’s
Dad to seven-year old son, pointing at 30 Rock: That's the building where Liz Lemon works.
Seven-year old son: Where's Kenneth!?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: cat
Informed yuppie: …yeah, no city money was wasted, it was all self financed.
–The Gates
Grandpa: You’re not listening to me!
Grandma: Well, if I listened to you what would you ever have to yell about?
–The Gates
Overheard by: Martha Gelnaw
Little boy: Where are the rides? Mommy, I want to go on the rides!
–The Gates
Toddler waiting for subway with mom: I need a snack.
Mother: You need a smack!
–Franklin Ave
Overheard by: Danielle
Boy: Mommy, what will happen if the tram falls into the river?
Mother: We will all die, darling. But I told you not to be afraid of dying!
Boy: But Mommy, I’m only eight! I’m too young to die!
Mother: Well, darling, stuff happens!
–Roosevelt Island tram
Child: Mom, what are those piles of boxes in that parking lot for? Is that where they keep the garbage?
Mother: No, that’s where the bums live! There is a bum community in there! And they all have no teeth!
–Metro North train
Blond lady who lunches #1: What the fuck is it with the kids these days and their fucking vampires?
Blond lady who lunches #2: Fucking Twilight.
–Madison Avenue
Overheard by: LES girl trying not to laugh
Blond Tourist Bimbo: I’ve never even heard of the G Train.
Blond Local Bimbo: Yeah, it’s a ghetto train.
Blond Tourist Bimbo: Where does it go?
Blond Local Bimbo: Nowhere.
Black eight-year-old boy: Except my home, bitch.
–G train Hoyt/Schermerhorn station
Overheard by: Ian Robertson
Child, after hurting himself: Jesus!
Grandma: Oh, no. Don’t say that tonight.
Child: Christ!
–Seder, UWS
Overheard by: bobby bo bobby
Headline by: AL
Runners-Up:
· “Sawww-eee.” – Sameer
· “All that colorful Yiddish I taught you, and this is the best you can do?” – MB
· “Blasphemy is allah the same to me” – Yugan
· “Either way, it’s still not kosher” – Peter
· “Wait until after we kill him” – bobofthejungle
