Little boy to older sister: What is that?
Sister: The key to my pussy.
–Ditmas Park, Brooklyn
Mother: Thas what you gotta watch out for: those assholes.
3-year-old daughter: Okay, Mommy.
–14th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sanandara Bong
Little boy: I love Manhattan! I love Tic-Tacs!
–Brooklyn Heights
Wife to husband: No wonder your eyebrows are making love!
–47th & 5th
Overheard by: anon
Biotech to texting friend: Now we’ll see how much he cares about you. I love testing people!
–23rd Ave, Astoria
Overheard by: sara n.
Gleeful hobo rubbing stubble beard: I love my beard! Mmmm, I love you.
–93rd & Broadway
Overheard by: punkee
Queer on cell: I don’t want love handles on love day!
–Lafayette & Astor
Woman on cell: Happy Valentine’s Day… Do you still love me, or do you hate me now?
–Hudson St
Overheard by: lilli
Mom: Oh my god! Why are these things so expensive?
Lil’ boy holding fake jewelry: Hey mommy! You know what I want to be? I want to be a girl.
Mom laughing nervously: Can you believe some of the things these kids say?
–Virgin Beauty Supply
Overheard by: Crystal
Dad in suit: Your grandfather said that you and your sister are just delicious.
Adorable moppet girl: Oh, Daddy, that’s silly. I’m not delicious!
Dad in suit: What are you, then?
Adorable moppet girl: I’m cute.
–M101 bus
Overheard by: bemused
Nine-year-old to friend: Yo, how many white people we got here?
Friend: One, two, too many.
–Fort Greene Park
Dad to post-tantrum kid: So, did you get a lot of crying done today?
Little boy: Yeah…
–Westside Market, 76th & Broadway
Overheard by: Ri & Yuu
Mom: You’re just making me frustrated right now.
Whining toddler: And you’re making me stupid!
–16th St, between 6th & 7th Ave
12-year-old girl to friend: So, he asked me for a piggyback ride and grabbed onto my boobs! Isn’t that what you call sexism? When you’re a perv? Sexist?
–6th & Houston
Overheard by: Ha, ha, Mal.
Man on cell: You’re an eight, but you’d be a ten if your boobs were bigger…
–19th & 7th
Girl: Where’s my phone? … Oh, there’s my boob.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mariah
Woman on cell: I have to throw my breasts around and tell every guy I want to have sex with them at work.
–68th & 2nd
Chick on cell: I haven’t yet met him, you know, but he has a Christmas card featuring my boobies on his fridge.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Ladle
Girl running from her mother: You can’t catch me!
Mom running after her: Aw helllllll no! You keep runnin’ and I’m gonna cut your hair off when we get home!
–Halsey and Wycoff, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mary Beth
