Men

Panhandler: Spare some change? Help a brother out.
Panhandlee: Yeah. Go ask your brother.

–Union Square station

Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10.

–St. Mark’s Place

Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!

–Carmine St.

Marine: Dodgeball is something that they would show me in a POW camp! I couldn’t stomach it.

–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.

Diner: Your brown sauce; it’s some sort of, um…brown sauce?
Waiter: Yes.
Dining Man: OK, that sounds good.

–Pongsri, Chinatown

Overheard by: Joseph Schoech

Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine.

–Varick Street

Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken!

–Alt.coffee, Avenue A

Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler

Man: Do you have bathing suits?
Salesgirl: No… But we have swimming trunks.
Man, sarcastically: Why not? I'll try those.

–6th & 23rd

Man to woman in restaurant bar: Do you live around here?
Woman: I live at 21st and Broadway.
Man: Oh, that's a nice area.
Woman: Yeah, but tomorrow I'm moving to a bad area. The Upper East Side.

–Palma, West Village

Overheard by: Kristina Feliciano

Serious man to dog: I am very disappointed in you. I expect more of you than that.

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Sunny

Woman to pooping Jack Russell terrier: Don't even pay attention to all those people who are looking at you. They all poop too. Everybody poops!

–University & 9th

Little girl, angrily to her dog for going at a mural: You just peed on Barack Obama!

–East Village

Overheard by: Z

Woman to dog: No, we can't go in there; that's an evil pet store.

–50th & 9th

Overheard by: Natalie

Woman to her dog: You know, there are a lot of crazy people in the world. That's why I trust your opinion so much.

–Tompkins Square Park

Overheard by: Jessie

Man #1: Nice beard. You look like Santa!
Man #2, gesturing to his jacket: Santa? Does Santa drive a Harley too?

–72nd St & Broadway

Overheard by: Natasha