Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.
–Midtown Office
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.
–Midtown Office
Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too.
–Avenue A
Garbageman: They all wanna fucking be like us.
–LES
Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference.
–Knitting Factory
Overheard by: Patrick Taylor
Panhandler: Spare some change? Help a brother out.
Panhandlee: Yeah. Go ask your brother.
–Union Square station
Man: 40 is the new 30; my teacher said that. She said 12 is the new 11. But she used to say 11 was the new 10.
–St. Mark’s Place
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario!
–Carmine St.
Marine: Dodgeball is something that they would show me in a POW camp! I couldn’t stomach it.
–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Diner: Your brown sauce; it’s some sort of, um…brown sauce?
Waiter: Yes.
Dining Man: OK, that sounds good.
–Pongsri, Chinatown
Overheard by: Joseph Schoech
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine.
–Varick Street
Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken!
–Alt.coffee, Avenue A
Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
