Upper East Side girl reading book about knights: Mommy, what does our family crest look like?
Upper East Side mom: Poor people being crushed by a boot.
–Playground, E 72nd St
Overheard by: Dude under the shoe
Upper East Side girl reading book about knights: Mommy, what does our family crest look like?
Upper East Side mom: Poor people being crushed by a boot.
–Playground, E 72nd St
Overheard by: Dude under the shoe
Mother: I want you to always be safe whenever you're in the woods, a lake, or the mountains.
Boy: But I'm always in control!
Mother: No one's always in control.
Boy: What about Michael Phelps?
Mother: No. The only one always in control is…?
Boy, bored: God.
–The Strand
Overheard by: amused family member
Mother, walking with two daughters: So what should we do now?
Little girl #1: Let's trip old people!
Little girl #2: I call mommy!
–Bayside
Overheard by: Danny
Little kid: Mommy, I'm bored.
Mom: Yeah, I know. Life's tough.
Little kid: I wanna staple something. (points to SIGG bottle) I know what that is. That's your liquor.
–Long Island City
Overheard by: Modernly Spaced
Two-year-old boy: Are we going to daddy's?
Mom: Yes.
Two-year-old boy: Can we stay there forever?
Mom: No! What are you? Crazy?
–N Train
Overheard by: Varda
Little black girl boarding Chinatown bus: Mama, I was on this bus before and nothing happened.
Mother, also boarding bus: Yeah, well, I was on this bus last week and it caught on fire.
–Chrystie St.
Teenage boy: You know, if you think about it, violins are basically just giant condoms.
–Bard High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny
Older man on cell walking two giant dogs: She has a great body… When she sits, it's like a German violinist.
–Thompson Square Park
Mother to young daughter: Even if she was tired and cranky, she still shouldn't have hit you on the shoulder with a violin.
–Ave A & 6th St
Woman on cell: Let's go see the one about the transsexual violinists. (pause, yelling louder) Violinists! The transsexual violin players. Violin! (pause) You didn't say "violin"? Just transsexuals? (pause) Did you say "violence"? (pause) No? (pause) I'm not hungover!
–J Train
Little girl: I'm gonna be 4!
Mom: In December.
Little girl: In December!
Mom: And you're gonna be this short forever. You're not gonna grow.
Little girl: Whaaa-aaaat?
–Q Train
Overheard by: Brigid
Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.
Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?
–R Train
Overheard by: New York State of Mind
