Wednesday One-Diners

Fashionista: Y'know, it was just one of those restaurants that served bone marrow, because, like, they should be serving bone marrow.

–Allen & Delancy

Overheard by: wba2101

Jersey mom in purple jumpsuit: Ah, I love this part of New York. In one block you have an Olive Garden and a TGI Friday's.

–Times Square

Girl: Johnny Rockets my ass! If I wanted to go to the 1960s I'd use a fucking time machine!

–8th St & Greene

Drunk guy, wisely: No, people who eat on trains can't afford Chipotle!

–Uptown A Train

20-something guy to sobbing 20-something girl: It's okay, there's a Burger King right around here.

–4th St & Ave B

Posted on September 22, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Alphabet City, B & T, Crying, Drinking & Drunk People, Drunks, Fashionistas, Food, Gadgets, Girls, Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, Lower East Side, Moms, Money & Class, On the Subway, One-liners, Public Transportation, Street, Stupidity, Time, Times Square, Travel, Union Square and East Village, Wednesday One-Liners

A Picture Speaks a Thousand Wednesday One-Liners.

Father to two toddlers walking with mommy: So your mother offered to take me to The Standard for our anniversary, where we'd pose naked in the windows for all to see. I told your mommy I'm game… Afterwards we'll sell the pictures in Australia, how's that sound?

–23rd St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: geedee

Hipster, on being mugged: So I'm in the ambulance, but instead of feeling bad about it I took a picture of myself and put it on Twitter.

–Whole Foods, Union Square

Girl on cell: Just take nude photos of yourself. Go home. Take off your clothes, stand in front of a mirror, and take pictures.

–23rd St

Slutty-looking hipster chick on phone: My ex boyfriend said that he googled me and found naked pics of me.

–4th Ave & 86th St

Overheard by: bay ridge bitch

Annoying teen girl: He said "You know Limp Bizkit? Well, this is limp dick!" And he sent me a picture of his soft penis and I died laughing on the street!

–Brooklyn

Overheard by: Wallflower

Posted on September 1, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Dads, Families, Girls, Google, Health and Hygiene, Hipsters, Internet, Kids, Laughter, Moms, Music, Nudity, On Cell, Penis, Pictures, Street, Stupidity, Teens, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Whole Foods

Before She Starts Stripping Again.

Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too, mama.
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.

–Park Avenue & 25th St

Posted on August 30, 2010
Compare/Contrast, Dads, Film, Kids, Moms, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Nudity, Parents

Wet Seal, Then?

Boy in car: Where are we going?
Mom: Shopping.
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!
Mom: No!

–Rego Park

Overheard by: Jasper

Posted on August 29, 2010
Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parents, Queens, Questions, Shopping

I Already Have Rich Kids That Think I'm a Dork

Tween to mom: But mooooooommmmmmm, I don't want to go to that school.
Mom to tween: Chris Rock's kids go there.

–Upper West Side

Overheard by: Cathy Borck

Posted on August 23, 2010
About Celebrities, Education, Moms, Parents, School and studying, Tweens, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

Political Correctness Is a Real Chink in Our Armor

Young Chinese girl: Nigga!
Mother: Don't say that! You not one of those.

–Produce Market, Forsyth St.

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on August 22, 2010
Chinese, Girls, Lower East Side, Moms, Parents, Race, Stupidity

Hey, Jesus Wore a Dress.

Blond son: Mom, is the Statue of Liberty a boy or a girl?
Mom: Well, what do you think it looks like?
Blond son: I think it's a boy. It looks like a boy.

–Ferry to Statue of Liberty

Overheard by: Jaclyn

Posted on August 19, 2010
Ferry, Gender issues, Kids, Moms, Parents, Questions, Statue of Liberty

Wednesday Buy-One-Get-One-Freeliners

Upper East Side crone: I just came back from Sudan, and there was nothing to buy there!

–Gift Shop, American Folk Art Museum

Hick obese wife to hick obese husband: Sometimes I like Wal-Mart better, sometimes I like K-Mart better. It depends on the day.

–6 Train

Overheard by: Emily Faxon

Tourist lady on cell: No, I was in the store the entire time! I got 8 pashminas!

–Canal St

Overheard by: Canadian Girl

Cheerful 10-year-old with cornrows to 30-something woman: This is a world famous store! So don't be surprised if you're still here at one o'clock!

–Macy's, 7th Ave

Asian girl, pointing to D'Agostino: Oh, that's D'Agostino. It's like a Japanese grocery store or something.

–10th St & University

Upper East Side mom: I shop at Target because I like to support out local businesses whenever I can.

–62nd & 3rd

Posted on August 18, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Asians, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Couples, Fat People, Guys, Kids, Moms, Museums, On Cell, On the Subway, One-liners, Retail Therapy, Shopping, Store, Street, Stupidity, The Village, Tourists, Travel, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

Wednesday One-Liners Would Shoot Jodie Foster to Impress You

Girl on cell: You have a mini what? Stalker? (pause) Do you mean "mini" like a little person? Or like only partial stalking?

–Park Ave & 77th St

Woman to friend: No wonder that guy is stalking you! You told him everywhere you were going!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sarah

Suit on cell: Yeah, yeah, hold on a minute. I gotta cross the street to stalk this girl.

–Times Square

Overheard by: creeped out

Mother to daughter, indignantly: No, it's not stalking! It's called being resourceful.

–16th St & 9th Ave

Posted on August 18, 2010
All Wednesday One-Liners, Chelsea & the Meatpacking District, Friends, Girls, Harassment, Moms, On Cell, One-liners, Questions, Street, Suits, Times Square, Union Square and East Village, Upper East Side, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women, Words

Frankly, We're Surprised Disney World Hasn't Turned Them Into a Ride.

Little kid: You never take me anywhere!
Mom: How can you say that to me? We went to the Prospect Park Zoo last weekend. You've been to Disney World!
Little kid: You never took me to the Twin Towers.
Mom: 9/11 happened two weeks before you were born.
Little kid: See!

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Posted on August 15, 2010
Gripes, Ground Zero, Kids, Moms, Park Slope, Terrorism, Travel

Moms