Woman at checkout to teenage son: I don't know…this shampoo smells a little too edible.
Middle aged Latina cashier, fingering her hair: That's why I wash my hair! So somebody will take a bite! Yum, yum, nibble, nibble!
–Ave A Grocery Store
Woman at checkout to teenage son: I don't know…this shampoo smells a little too edible.
Middle aged Latina cashier, fingering her hair: That's why I wash my hair! So somebody will take a bite! Yum, yum, nibble, nibble!
–Ave A Grocery Store
Four-year-old: Doorman 1 is fat.
Mom: No he's not. Who said that?
Four-year-old: Doorman 2.
Mom: Well, doorman 2 is wrong. Doorman 1 is just a bigger guy. He's just bigger than doorman 2. He's not fat.
Four-year-old: Yes he is.
Mom: No he's not. Who are you going to believe, me or doorman 2?
Four-year-old: Doorman 2.
–Riverside Drive
Young daughter to mother flushing toilet: Mommy! It says “do not flush.”
Mother: No, honey, it says “do not flush feminine products.”
Young daughter: What are “feminine products”?
Mother (after pause): Lipstick.
–Macy's Bathroom, W 34th St
Overheard by: Brin
Daughter: Is that our bus?
Mother: No, that's a tourist bus, we're waiting for the city bus.
Daughter: Hey! Is that the Empire State Building? It's really tall!
Mother: It's not that tall.
Daughter: I never saw it before.
Mother: You never looked up.
–34th St & 7th Ave
Mom: You have to start feeding your birds, honey.
Little girl: I don't want to.
Mom: It's called “responsibility”, you need…
Little girl, interrupting: I don't like birds!
–27th St
Boy, locked in train bathroom: Mommy, I can't get out!
Mom, trying not to laugh: Sweetie, it's okay, you just need to undo the lock.
Boy: I can't breathe!
(car erupts into laughter, followed by applause once he makes it out)
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Gavin
Mom #1: She refuses to wear slacks! She'll only wear dresses and skirts. She told me, “mommy, girls don't like to have anything between their legs except their underpants.”
Mom #2: Let's hope she feels that way til she's twenty.
–1 Train
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Teenage girl to friends: How many babies can you squish into an oversized Ferrari?
–W 77th & Central Park West
Overheard by: Teddy Nicholas
Bartender: Can you imagine living somewhere where you actually have to drive home after work?
–Vintage Restaurant, Hell's Kitchen
Overheard by: GretaGarbo86
Dude eating lunch with friends: Man, I hate to say it, but I love driving drunk.
–Restaurant, Bleecker & Lafayette
Gay black man to another: First of all, that fender bender you had a block away from your house was not a car accident. My three-car-pile-up was a car accident!
–A Train
Six-year-old to mom: What? An actual person who drinks and drives and she's famous? She's been in movies and she drinks and drives?! What is happening to this world?
–13th St & 5th Ave
Random wannabe thug: Yo, we seen a NYPD car get hit by a harpoon!
–Montgoris Dining Hall, St. John's University
Overheard by: Craig
Tiny six-year-old son: Why do I look so fat?
Mom: (looks puzzled)
Tiny six-year-old son, pointing at his reflection in elevator doors: Look at me, I look fat!
Mom, smiling, relieved: Oh! No, it's just that reflection is distorted, sweetie.
Tiny six-year-old son: Is that why you looked so fat in those pictures?
Mom (after pause): …yes.
–Elevator, Lexington Ave
Son: Mommy, why does god make these benches so uncomfortable?
Mommy: So you don't fall asleep. Now stop talking.
–Christ and St. Stephen's Church, W 69th St
Overheard by: falling asleep anyway
