Little girl in stroller to mother: Who made my heart, who made it, huh?
Mom: I made your heart, and god did.
Little girl: Can I eat it ?
Mom: No.
Little girl: Why not?
Mom: It doesn't taste good.
Little girl: Yes it does! It tastes like cake.
–B Train
Mother to young son: If daddy asks you why mommy's upset with him, you say it's because he doesn't take care of her.
Young son: I ain't saying nothing.
–B Train
Hobo, yelling to crowd: The stimulus plan won't work! The banks have no money! We need to stimulate the banks! You know how? Cocaine and hookers!
–53rd st & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Andrew
Professor: I knew the economy was bad when I saw Saks had layaway. Layaway is for Wal-Mart, not Saks!
–NYU Law
Guy on phone with mother: No, mom! I'm not going to walk on Wall St today. (pause) Because I don't feel like getting hit by a falling body, that's why.
–Broadway & John St
Asian metrosexual to friend entering clothing store: No, I wanna stimulate the economy!
–SoHo
Overheard by: Galatea
Cute young professional: I better be able to go into a bar and say, "I have a job, and it's recession proof. Wanna see what my bed and a Magnum condom look like?"
–72nd & Broadway
Overheard by: Lindsay D.
Guy on cell: I'm telling you, when a place like that switches from Charmin to Duane Reade toilet paper, you know the economy is in the shitter.
–Great Jones & Broadway
Six-year-old girl, with mace in hand: Look, mommy! A mace! Now I can hit unicorns and make them bleed. Death to unicorns!
Mom: That's great, honey.
–8th Ave & Carroll St
Mom to nine-year-old son: Do you want anything?
Kid, looking at variety of candy: Mmmmmm, let me see, something no one will like, so I don't get bullied for it at school.
–Deli, Hicks St & Kane, Brooklyn
(conductor closes subway doors on relatively empty train, preventing a throng of people from boarding)
3-year-old girl: Mommy, why did he do that?
Mother: Because he's mean!
–1 Train
Overheard by: M
Mother to yelling six-year-old son: Alright, that's it. You are not getting a gold star today.
Six-year-old son: I know, I've been bad all day!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: me too!
20-something daughter: Mom, how did you know that dad was the one?
Mom: He was the only one I didn't cheat on.
–LIRR, Penn Station
Barista: Basically someone bought a coffee Friday, came back Monday and said it's cold. Um, yeah. It's three days later.
–Starbucks, Canal & Broadway
Overheard by: Kaitlen
Woman, walking out of Starbucks empty-handed: Well, at least now we know where we can get coffee. You know, in the morning?
–Starbucks, Times Square
Overheard by: David Landfair
NYU student to coffee cart man: Can I get a venti-large coffee?
–Greene St & Washington Place, The Village
Overheard by: Jane
Male coworker: I was just going to turn water into coffee, like they do in the bible.
–Broadway
Hyper five-year-old to mom: Hey look, Starbucks. Let's go to Starbucks. Starbucks! Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee!
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Juxie
Mother to hysterical baby in stroller: What do you want, huh? Coffee and a cigarette?
–Outside Bloomingdale's
Overheard by: kteezy
