Movie Theaters

Girl: I talked to Jackie. She got some kind of bug in India!
Guy: Oh, no! What happened?
Girl: I don’t think I should talk about this now.
Guy: Whatever, no one cares.
Girl: Okay. Well, she was shitting green.
Guy: Oh, my God! Wait, I should not be laughing, that is not funny at all.
Girl: Yeah, and the doctor asked her to bring in a stool sample and she was shitting so much that she brought one in a half hour later. The doctors were like, “What the fuck?”.

–Union Square Regal Cinemas

Tween Latino #1: Uh…why did we pay to see this again?
Tween Latino #2: Probably because we're high.
Tween Latino #3: Oh. Good point.

Mamma Mia Screening, Ziegfeld Theater

Overheard by: that's what roger ebert said

Eddie Izzard: We’ve explored space, but we haven’t drilled down. You all remember Journey to the Center of the Earth. Why don’t we just drill down to the center and see the…what’s it called?
Guy: Magma.
Eddie Izzard: Yeah, we’ll get a heat resistant camera and we’ll see the magma. And they’ll make a documentary–
Guy: It wouldn’t work.
Eddie Izzard: Eh?
Guy: The density would be too intense.
Eddie Izzard: No, we would take the rocks out behind us–
Guy: No, the air would be too dense. As you approach the center of
the earth, the density of the air increases.
Eddie Izzard: But what if you took the rocks out?
Guy: No, the air would still be too dense.
Eddie Izzard: Oh, well I guess you would know better than I. You must be some sort of scientist?
Guy: Actually, I’m an actor…but I took science class.

–The Village Theatre, Bleecker Street

Guy: I have a confession to make.
Girl: Can’t you make it to me after the movie?
Guy: I can’t help it, but I took a picture of your butthole last night while you were dozing.
Girl: You what?!
Obese lady in front row: Would you queers shut the fuck up?! I’m trying to watch this shit!

–AMC Theater, 42nd St

Overheard by: Scott

Girl: I always thought those things were called life-savers!

–UA movie theater, Union Square

Overheard by: braun bowery

Old man #1: Where are we?
Old man #2: The movies!
Old man #1: I thought we were going to the barbecue!
Old man #2: Yes, it's time for the barbecue.
Old man #1: Aaaaaauuuuuugggggghhhhhh!

–Lincoln Plaza Cinemas

Overheard by: Laughing uncontrollably

Guy #1: I’m a gangsta. And gangsta people see gangsta movies. You go see that Hong Kong, King Kong or whatever.
Guy #2: What about In The Mix?

–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street

Overheard by: Nathaniel Taylor

Man on cell, coming out of The Dark Knight: I'm sorry that I couldn't pick up your call, I was in a very important meeting with a client.

–Lowes Movie Theater, 68th & Broadway

Guy on cell walking out of subway entrance: I'm getting on the subway now.

–Park Place & Church Street

Overheard by: Rich Mintz

Female suit on cell: Well, I can't talk long, I'm about to get on a plane. Yeah, JFK.

–Battery Park

Overheard by: pop pop

Overweight woman to daughter in pink tutu: You made me come here! Don't lie! Don't lie! Don't lie!

–Ikea, Redhook

Overheard by: Emily B.

Annoying anchor: I'm writing a newscast. I don't have time to check facts.

–CBS News Headquarters, 57th St

Overheard by: The Shadow News Bunny

Girl #1: He fine.
Girl #2: Who? Anakin?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: Finer den Usher?
Girl #1: Nah, nobody finer den Usher.

–The Pavilion, Park Slope

Black guy: Yo, fuck the Jedi. It’s all about the Dark Side. I’m the other Dark Lord you’ve been looking for.

–86th & Lexington

Overheard by: Joshua S.

Girl: Oh my god, all this time I thought I was a Buddhist, but I’m really a Sith.

–UA movie theater, Union Square

Overheard by: Lara Evangelista

Husky unshaved guy to younger girlfriend: You mean you never saw Animal House? You're not human!

–Lower West Side

Thug to another: Jabba the Hutt? That's like some Tony Soprano shit, nigga. And the spices? That's drugs. Star Wars drugs!

–13th St & University

Overheard by: Jaimie

Girl to friends: My English teacher said Precious is "whack."

–City Cinemas, E 86th St

Stuffy Bulgarian professor: Do you guys know the film Soul Plane? It's very funny, right?

–NYU

Overheard by: really glad I got up before 9:30 for this

Girl on cell: Yeah, after that movie, I'm gonna think all adopted kids are evil dwarfs with a hormone imbalance.

–Columbus Circle