NYC Geography

Tough-looking guy to tough-looking friend: Manhattan is all about shitpiles.

— Manhattan

NYU Princess #1: I totally hate New York, there’s nothing to do here.
NYU Princess #2: Totally. It sucks. Want to go to Brooklyn?
NYU Princess #1: Why? What’s there?
NYU Princess #2: Williamsburg? I don’t know, nothing. Probably the same boring shit as here.
NYU Princess #1: Yeah, totally. But different at least.
NYU Princess #2: Yah, totally.

–E 12 and 4 Ave

Overheard by: Kevin

Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey.

–Murray Hill deli

Overheard by: Neelam S.

Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs?

–Greenpoint

Overheard by: Didi Hylobates

Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge.

–Midtown office

Clueless European tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: Where?
Clueless European tourist, carefully: Man-hat-tan?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: You're in Manhattan already!
Clueless European tourist, looking around confused: Um, downtown?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: That's the only place this train goes. You can't go anywhere else from here!

–A Train, 207th St

Overheard by: The Green Cat

Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…

–Mulberry St

Overheard by: Lindsey

Flyer guy to hot blonde chick: Hey, where are you from?
Hot blonde chick, indignantly: Here.
Flyer guy: What are you doing in Times Square?
Hot blonde chick, rudely: Leaving!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Stephen

Four-year-old: Dad, look, it's part of the Empire State Building!
Dad: Oh yeah?
Four-year-old: Yes. Over there, see? (points to a building in downtown Brooklyn)
Dad: Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
(moments later)
Four-year-old: Look! I can see the cranes!
Dad, pointing down at construction site: Yeah, and look at all that junk.
Four-year-old: What junk? Oh yeah. That's a junkyard!
Dad: It looks like one, doesn't it?
Four-year-old Yeah, it looks like one. And it is one.

–F Train

Overheard by: Tricia

Man to woman in restaurant bar: Do you live around here?
Woman: I live at 21st and Broadway.
Man: Oh, that's a nice area.
Woman: Yeah, but tomorrow I'm moving to a bad area. The Upper East Side.

–Palma, West Village

Overheard by: Kristina Feliciano