German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Christopher
German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?
–Carroll Gardens
Overheard by: Christopher
Tough-looking guy to tough-looking friend: Manhattan is all about shitpiles.
— Manhattan
NYU Princess #1: I totally hate New York, there’s nothing to do here.
NYU Princess #2: Totally. It sucks. Want to go to Brooklyn?
NYU Princess #1: Why? What’s there?
NYU Princess #2: Williamsburg? I don’t know, nothing. Probably the same boring shit as here.
NYU Princess #1: Yeah, totally. But different at least.
NYU Princess #2: Yah, totally.
–E 12 and 4 Ave
Overheard by: Kevin
Schlub: …yeah, it’s the nicest place–
Loudmouth: Yeah, but it’s fuckin’ in New Jersey!
Schlub: Yeah…Jersey…fuckin’ Jersey.
–Murray Hill deli
Overheard by: Neelam S.
Old school Brooklyn guy: They closed off 150 blocks in DC for this inauguration and where do you think all the people that live on those blocks are gonna park, if not here in the five boroughs?
–Greenpoint
Overheard by: Didi Hylobates
Woman on phone: No, my nose isn’t big by New York standards, but in Texas it’s huge.
–Midtown office
Clueless European tourist: Is this the train to, um, men-a-tin?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: Where?
Clueless European tourist, carefully: Man-hat-tan?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: You're in Manhattan already!
Clueless European tourist, looking around confused: Um, downtown?
Loud annoyed New Yorker: That's the only place this train goes. You can't go anywhere else from here!
–A Train, 207th St
Overheard by: The Green Cat
Teenage girl: You know you're from New York when you've never been to the Empire State Building.
Mother, after pause: Oh, yeah…
–Mulberry St
Overheard by: Lindsey
Flyer guy to hot blonde chick: Hey, where are you from?
Hot blonde chick, indignantly: Here.
Flyer guy: What are you doing in Times Square?
Hot blonde chick, rudely: Leaving!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Stephen
Four-year-old: Dad, look, it's part of the Empire State Building!
Dad: Oh yeah?
Four-year-old: Yes. Over there, see? (points to a building in downtown Brooklyn)
Dad: Yeah, pretty cool, huh?
(moments later)
Four-year-old: Look! I can see the cranes!
Dad, pointing down at construction site: Yeah, and look at all that junk.
Four-year-old: What junk? Oh yeah. That's a junkyard!
Dad: It looks like one, doesn't it?
Four-year-old Yeah, it looks like one. And it is one.
–F Train
Overheard by: Tricia
