NYC Geography

Hipster guy: Dude, he always blames it on the train dispatcher. He needs to own his problems, you know?

–F train

Overheard by: Patrick Di Justo

Tourist #1: Once you get down into, like, Park Avenue in the 70s, there are mad famous people.
Tourist #2: That's because it's mad close to Midtown.
Tourist #1: Midtown is mad nice.

–M86 Bus

Overheard by: Erin W.

Conductor #1: Hey, hey! We’re stopping here!
Conductor #2: No, we’re not.
Conductor #1: Yes, we are! Stop here, we’re stopping at this station!
Conductor #2: Too late. Next stop Hunters Point.

–7 train

A+

Teacher: What country do we live in?
First graders: New York!

–Blessed Sacrament School, 70th St

Overheard by: Fishy Ellie

Suit on cell: No, I’m not coming in today…I’m on the Upper East Side. There’s all this traffic from the Pope’s "Don’t sodomize the kids" world tour.

–83rd & Lex

Guy at bar: Most Popes hate Jews.

–6th and D

Gamer kid: Yeah, I was in DC this weekend with the Pope… Yeah, I saw that muthafucka.

–218th & Park Terrace West

Overheard by: Kelley

Old lady, about young girl: Oh, she looks nice. She’s wearing Pope shoes.

–Carmine St

Overheard by: arctinus

Chick: Why doesn’t anyone give monuments as gifts anymore?
Teen boy: …Ha, ha, ha!
Chick: No, you know what I mean, like the Statue of Liberty.
Teen boy: Wouldn’t it be great to blindfold someone, telling them you’ve got this great surprise for them, then take them to the Statue of Liberty, take the blindfold off and say: “It’s for you!”

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Chloe Amara

Woman stopping passersby: Do you know the Chinese restaurant on either 8th or 9th? (points at buildings on 14th Street)

–14th St & b/w 7th & 8th Ave

Girl to another: What is jizz?

–NYU Freshman Dorm

Overheard by: Betty Noir

Man in all seriousness to restaurant server holding two plates of food: Do you guys serve food here?

–Las Ramblas Tapas Restaurant

Woman on cell: Do you think they have batteries in the Dominican Republic, or should I buy some?

–Gateway Center, Brooklyn

Overheard by: DominicanEnergizer

Tourist woman: Excuse me, do I go Uptown or Downtown?

–Delancey St

Overheard by: TR

Bewildered girl in Persian class: Does Iran have lightning?

–NYU

Staten Island chick to friend: Remember when we got off at this stop because some guy lied to us and told us we were in Brooklyn?
Uninterested friend to random guy next to her: I like your shoes.

–Brooklyn Bound 4 Train

Overheard by: Emma

Guy: We came up on 6th Avenue so now we’re on 49th!
Girl: Does anybody know where the friggin’ tree is?
Woman: It’s on the fucking left!

–49th & 6th

Overheard by: Emma

Little girl: I hate that tree.

–Rockefeller Center

Overheard by: melanie segal

Woman: The big Christmas tree is in Central Park, right?
Man: Yeah.

–1 train

Overheard by: Hilla

German tourist: You can’t smoke inside and you can’t drink outside. What the hell do you people do in New York City?

–Carroll Gardens

Overheard by: Christopher