Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?
–B Train
Polite, cute seven-year-old black boy to mother: Mommy, how was your day?
Hot mom: Nice, I had a very nice day. Thank you for asking. How was your day?
Little boy: Pimpin! Can I play Wii when we get home, please?
–B Train
Bag lady: Girl, you be’s so rich you got diamonds on yo’ socks.
Chick: They’re not diamonds, they’re argyle.
–C train
Hobo: Anyone got any gum? (silence) Pay me in candy!
Conductor: Sorry, ladies and gentlemen, 59th Street will be our final stop due to a power outage.
Hobo: Don't be sorry, feed us.
–A Train
Litte boy: Dad, what’s something I can learn?
Dad: Do you know how to use a chainsaw? I can see if I can get the chainsaw working.
–B train
Overheard by: The Bling
Guy #1: How was that class for you? Was it like a war?
Guy #2: For me? It was more like walking through a preschool with a chainsaw.
–181st & Broadway
Crazy guy: Can anyone tell me about the Chinese stock market? [Two minutes later] Can anyone tell me about the Chinese stock market? Come on, people, that’s an easy question!
Suit, laughing: Here’s an easy question for you: How far away is Saturn to Pluto?
Crazy guy: That is too easy. Why would you ask me something so easy? The answer is Google. Google is the answer. The real question is, are there aliens from Saturn and Pluto on this train right now? And how could you tell the difference? [Looks around, waits for an answer.] Well, I know, because I’m one of them! [Crazy guy gets off the train.]
–1 train
Drunk guy: Yo, you bein’ stupid!
Sober guy: Yeah, but you’re drunk.
Drunk guy: Yeah, I am drunk! But you bein’ stupid! Come to my house — 123 Broadway! I’ll feed you! I got food! I got food! I will feed you all the time!
Sober guy: You’re drunk. Shut up.
Drunk guy: I am drunk. I will feed you! I love this train and everyone in it! Amen!
–Q train
Woman #1: So how did you pee when the toilet stopped up?
Woman #2: I used the sink.
Woman #1: Aren’t you afraid you will break it?
Woman #2: I’ma pretty little. Actually I do it all of the time.
–1/9 train
Black guy, cutting in front of line at movie theater: Excuse me, Barack Obama is President now. Thank you.
–AMC Movie Theater
Overheard by: Emmy
Man with hand stuck in bus door to bus driver: We got a black President and you actin' like this? You civil service!
–14D Bus
Sketching Jamaican hobo: Obama is some kinda skateboard.
–Shuttle to Times Square
Subway hobo: How come Obama don't have sex with his wife no more? Because every time she opens her legs, he sees bush!
–1 Train
Man to toddler in his arms: That's Obama. He's gonna save us all from doom! From doom!
–University & 12th St
Pretty young woman #1: So, what's everyone doing for the dyke march tomorrow?
Pretty young woman #2: I'm going to Long Island for a baby shower.
–F Train
Hobo: Hey, does anyone have some spare chicken?
Girl: Ha, ha, “chicken”? Sorry, I only had room for one rotisserie in my bag…and this one’s for me.
–L train
Overheard by: diana
