Tourist choir dude: You'll have to smoke.
Tourist choir chick: No, I won't.
Tourist choir dude: Yes, you have to smoke if you live here.
–Broadway & Wall St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tourist choir dude: You'll have to smoke.
Tourist choir chick: No, I won't.
Tourist choir dude: Yes, you have to smoke if you live here.
–Broadway & Wall St
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Tour guide: If you’re going to be in New York for at least a year, I’d recommend going to an outer borough.
–Bowling Green
Woman, looking at dirty man talking on cell with shirt open: That, that right there, oh, yes, that is sooo New York.
–Worth & Broadway
Overheard by: Half Shirt
Office worker: We’ve lived in New York too long. Instead of saying “ridiculously overpriced” we say “upscale.”
–Office, Carnegie Hall
Overheard by: inge
Crazy man: The subways have names and letters and numbers. They are not colors. Don’t you dare call them by colors. They have names and letters and numbers. The 4 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Express. The 6 is not the green train; it is the IRT Lexington Avenue Local. An idiot in Brooklyn asks for the orange train at King’s Highway. It is not the orange train. It is the F train. He should be deported to Mars for calling it the orange train! The trains have names and letters and numbers! And you never call 6th Avenue the Avenue of the Americas!
–Uptown R train
Lady, amongst a crowd of women, shoving and stripping to their underwear to try on designer clothes: Oh my God! I am so not New York enough for this!
–Barney’s Warehouse Sale, 17th between 7th & 8th
Overheard by: Dr. Mary
Girl: Being a New Yorker is great. You get to give the finger to everybody and nobody seems to care. I love this city!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jen
Tourist: These people must love their sandwiches! There are so many Subways here!
–Times Square
Teen boy #1: We’re getting back pretty late. What are you going to tell your mom?
Teen boy #2: I’ll say we were at dinner until 10:00, and–
Teen boy #1: No way! We went to dinner at 6:15! There’s no such thing as a four hour dinner!
Teen boy #2: Okay, I’ll say that we went to dinner at 7:15, and that we stayed until 8:45 because it was a buffet…then we went and hung out at Times Square–
Teen boy #1: You should tell her that I did something bad, otherwise she’ll be suspicious.
–N train
Girl #1: I heard on a show that Times Square was getting seedy again.
Girl #2: Times Square should be seedy. Tourists come here and they want to see hookers and pimps and drug dealers hanging around. Not the Prudential Financial display.
–Times Square
Driver being diverted past blockaded street: What's going on here?
Cop diverting traffic: What's going on? It's New York freaking City! That's what's going on! Move along!
–9th Ave & 20th St
Overheard by: Mighty Spatula
Brit husband: I can’t believe this isn’t air conditioned.
Brit wife: Well, this isn’t London…just pretend it is a sauna.
Brit husband: I can’t. It smells like piss and sweat, not cedar.
–1 train
Woman: I really hope that you start doing some shit that’s smart.
–Broadway & Waverly
Businessman: The CEO’s a good ol’ Italian goombah from Bayonne.
–Midtown Office
Girl: Hang on… (bends over to tie shoe in middle of crowd)
Appalled mother: Don't do that! This is New York. You could get pregnant!
–Mulberry & Hester, Little Italy
Overheard by: Mark
Crazy hobo: What do you get when you take the lemons out of the lemonade?
Unsuspecting tourist: Um… ‘Ade’?
Crazy hobo: No! Sugar water! What do you get when you have an old cowboy?
Friendly hobo: Man, get the fuck outta here, ya fucking weirdo! Leave her the fuck alone!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Katie
Male flight attendant: Ladies and gentlemen, JetBlue welcomes you to the city which all other cities are reflections of… welcome to New York.
–JFK
Overheard by: SJK
Pilot over loudspeaker: Alright folks, get into your seats quickly. You don't have to love the person next to you and this ain't a furniture store.
–JFK
Overheard by: Allie
Witty flight attendant: And in case that you have not been in a car since 1962, I will now demonstrate how seatbelts work.
–JFK
Flaming flight attendant: In the event of a sudden change in cabin pressure, oxygen masks will drop down in front of you. If this should occur, you may scream, then place the mask over your mouth and nose…
–JFK
JetBlue pilot: I hope you all enjoyed the flight. If you have any questions, please e-mail them to the Continental Airlines e-mail. Thank you for flying JetBlue.
–JFK
Overheard by: lonely passenger
Guy: I love porn. I've got XTube bookmarked.
Slightly older guy: You're a gay man in New York: of course you love porn. It's in the rulebook.
–42nd St, near Broadway
