30’s artist-type woman #1: Ok, so he was a decade younger. But I have an excuse!
30’s artist-type woman #2: His penis excused his age?
30’s artist-type woman #1: Well, I think it grew a half inch per year since the day he was born.
–9th & Bedford, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Lauren
Eight-year-old girl to older brother: I don't like booooooys!
10-year-old brother: I don't like boys, either!
Kids' ghetto mom to son: Boy, you betta like boys or I'mma pull your dick off.
–Uptown 2 Train
Overheard by: E.C.
Teen dude: So you wouldn’t?
Teen girl: Hell no! I’d break up with any dude who’d had his cock torn off and reconstructed using part of his thigh! That shit ain’t natural.
Teen dude: That’s so shallow.
–Union Square
Dude #1: I hate these bathrooms ’cause everyone’s showing off their dicks.
Dude #2: No, they got guys trying to look over to see.
–Port Authority
Overweight girl: Well, he obviously liked being fucked by me.
Skinny girl: It's cause you're fat.
Overweight girl: He did say he liked big girls. Whatever, I'm over him.
Skinny girl: Yeah, his dick was little anyways.
Overweight girl: And you know this… how?!
–SoHo
Overheard by: Katelyn Jones
White boy #1: I only like to watch girl-on-girl.
White boy #2: What? You don’t like dick in your porn? That’s fucking gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jesse
Stranger: Hey, big dick!
Black guy: Hey, what's up guy. Not big dick anymore, small dick! (motions with hand)
Stranger: Not what that girl told me last night, haha.
Black guy: Well, alright, take care.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Brandon
Suit #1: Do you have an iPhone?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Do you have a BlackBerry then?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: What? You don’t have an iPhone and you don’t have a BlackBerry?!
Suit #2: No, guess not.
Suit #1: You must have a long dick.
–115th St & Broadway
Girl: I want a Marc Jacobs bag, and I don’t care if it’s made of baby cow!
–Outside the Met
Overheard by: wants baby cow bag, too
Guy, explaining his pants: Yeah, they look gay, but they make my junk look huge.
–Midtown
Man picking up trash to woman picking up trash: How you gonna make ten dollars an hour and have people making minimum wage looking better than you?
–Madison Sq Park
Shopaholic: I know! One time I thought there was more to life than that. But then I went back to Bloomingdale’s.
–59th & Madison
Overheard by: DM Cook
Teenage girl on phone: So where are you?…So,what happened?…Not to your shoe! In the hospital!
–Central Park
Overheard by: concerned trespasser
Cougar-in-Training, looking at non-trendy partygoers: Clearly they don’t belong here.
–Rooftop party, the SoHo House
Teen chick #1: My face is sticky.
Teen chick #2: Is it from my cock in your mouth?
Teen chick #3: Everyone on the bus just heard that.
Teen chick #2, yelling: I don’t have a cock, people, I promise!
Teen chick #3: Yeah, justify yourself to a bus full of people. Go ahead.
–M11 bus
Overheard by: Alexa
