I Didn't Know I Was Wednesday One-Linered

Smoking man to another: I've heard being pregnant is really bad for your health.

–Columbia University

Overheard by: CS

Large black woman: An' I been tellin' him I got all these ideas for t-shirts… Like one for a pregnant lady that says "Congratulations, you're not the daddy!"

–BX12 Bus

Overheard by: shayshay

NYU boy on cell: Wait, you're pregnant? You're pregnant!? I thought you were just fat. (pause) But he said he didn't come in you, just on your face.

–Union Square

Woman to date: Let's go get pregnant!

–Santos Party House, Lafayette St

Overheard by: alisa

Posted on June 8, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Bars & Clubs, Black People, Bus, Clothing, Columbia (& Barnard), Columbia University, Cum, Diet/Weight, Fat People, Frat Boys, Health and Hygiene, Offers and requests, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Physical appearance, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Questions, Smokers & Smoking, Union Square and East Village, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Women

If You Watch Willy Wonka: The E! True Hollywood Story

Man #1: There were thousands of them.
Man #2: Thousands of what?
Man #1: Thousands of unemployed midgets.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Pamela

Posted on May 16, 2019
Jobs & Careers, Men, Physical appearance, Questions, Union Square and East Village, Weirdness

Have You Seen Wednesday? It's Totally Had Its One-Liners Done.

Woman on cell: I can't believe no one said anything… How could no one notice? It used to be sooooo crooked, and I spend all this money to get my nose fixed, and no one says anything?

–Norfolk & Houston

50-year-old lady: So are you still down for the Brazilian wax?

–45th & Broadway

Overheard by: Chuch

Little girl, pointing at someone having their eyebrows threaded: Look! They're sewing that woman's face!

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: kenzi

Orange lady: Is it like you definitely, for sure get cancer from a tanning bed? Cause then I might stop.

–Park Slope

Overheard by: Alexis

Posted on May 4, 2019
All Wednesday One-Liners, Body Parts, Cancer, Kids, Lower East Side, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Nose Job, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Physical appearance, Questions, Street, Union Square and East Village, Waxing, Wednesday One-Liners, Women

…So: Perfect!

Girl #1: Is this wearable?
Girl #2: Yes, if you are auditioning for a part as an intergalactic cowboy.

–55th & 6th

Overheard by: Carla H

Posted on April 19, 2019
Clothing, Girls, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Physical appearance, Theater & Dance

Then By the Power Vested in Me, I Now Pronounce Us Husband and Wife

Flirtatious girl, about photo in fashion magazine: Do you think she's hot?
Embarrassed boy: She's quite attractive.
Flirtatious girl: Do you like her tits?
Embarrassed boy: Turn the page, please.
Flirtatious girl: Would you bang her?
Embarrassed boy: I would.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Sunny

Posted on April 8, 2019
Beauty, Boys, Girls, Physical appearance, Pictures, Questions, Rack, Sex, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

They Waved at Me

Jewish girl #1: I got an ultrasound last week.
Jewish girl #2: I had an ultrasound once. I got to see my ovaries.
Jewish girl #1: How did they look?
Jewish girl #2: Really cute!

–F Train

Overheard by: forgotmyipod

Posted on March 27, 2019
Beauty, Body Parts, Health and Hygiene, JAPs, Medicine, On the Subway, Physical appearance, Questions

Points For Creative Inanity

Young English teacher, showing class movie of Greek tragedy Agamemnon: Does anyone else think that Agamemnon kinda looks like the Burger King King?
Student: Well, there goes my grade.

–Stuyvesant High

Posted on March 6, 2019
Compare/Contrast, Education, Film, Junk Food & Fast Food, Physical appearance, Pop Culture, Students, Stuyvesant, Teachers/Professors, Theater & Dance

Earlier, It Asked Me What the Meaning Of Life Is

40-something male watching 20-something female bending over: Holy shit! That girl's got no panties on!
30-something male: Yes she is, it's a thong.
40-something male: If she is wearing panties, that's the deepest thong I've even seen.

–Dewey's Flatiron

Overheard by: Gmoney

Posted on January 27, 2019
Bars & Clubs, Clothing, Compare/Contrast, Men, Nudity, Physical appearance

At Which Point He Recommended Botox

36-year-old bald clubster: There's no way you're 36. I'm 36, and there's just no way.
36-year-old woman: No! Really, I am.
36-year-old bald clubster: What did you do–make a deal with the devil?
36-year-old woman: We've talked.

–Union Square

Overheard by: birdie

Posted on January 22, 2019
Age/Aging, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Satan, Union Square and East Village, Women

I Believe He Goes by “Mr. Magic Dragon” Now

Foreign girl: How is your puffy friend?
American guy: What?
Foreign girl: You know, the puffy! (hold out her hands to indicate fatness)
American guy: Oh, yeah, he's good.

–89th & 2nd

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on December 12, 2018
Diet/Weight, Foreigners, Girls, Guys, Physical appearance, Questions, Upper East Side, Words

Physical appearance