[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.
–Starbucks
[Skinny girl takes box of equal out of her pocket and puts half the packages in her coffee.]Friend: What are you doing? You’re going to get cancer!
Equal girl: Yeah, but I won’t get fat.
–Starbucks
Renthead #1: He wasn't *that* bad as Roger.
Renthead #2: Weren't you drunk last time you saw him?
Renthead #1: Yeah. That's probably why. When I'm drunk I'm more like “Oh, his hair's shiny,” rather than “Wow, he has no emotion.”
Renthead #2: His hair is shiny. (pause) Next time he's on as Roger, let's get drunk.
–Nederlander Theatre
Girl to friend: I can't believe you broke a nail on your own ass hair!
–Church & Chambers
Three-year-old boy to another: I like you but I don't like your baby because your baby grabbed my hair.
–Central Park, Great Lawn
Girl: Oh, I'm so glad this is all working out. (gets up and sees her reflection) Fuck! Why didn't you tell me my hair looked like a dead beaver?
–Prince St Cafe
Overheard by: It DID
Black woman to infant held by her mother: Where did you get all of that hair? I want some of that hair. (pats her head) This ain't my hair, I could really use yours.
–Harlem Polling Station
Overheard by: Joe
Girl yelling into cell: He's not even hairy!
–Times Square
Overheard by: Well then why do they call him that?
Chick: I thought we were made for each other, but he's too bearded.
–113th St
Overheard by: Ursula & Winifred
Young woman: Do you see this line on my face?
Friend: What line?
Young woman: This line. I must have got it from my internship. (pause) I think it's from… thinking. But I called my plastic surgeon, and he's totally gonna fix it.
–Columbia University
College guy #1: I've been working hard to lose weight this year.
College guy #2: I can certainly see the change in your face.
College guy #1: Yeah, I've been crapping a lot lately.
(college guy #2 is silent)
College guy #1: I mean I've been dumping a whole lot.
College guy #2: Okay, that's enough.
–Gym, Columbia University
Girl #1: She's trying to wear all those low-cut shirts.
Girl #2: Yeah, with all the pimples on her chest that shit is nasty.
Girl #1: Yeah, I know, right? She needs some Proactive for her titties or something.
–B6 Bus
20-something woman #1: Why don’t boys like me? Because of my snaggle-tooth?
20-something woman #2: No. Because you’re obsessed with The Snorks.
–Relish, Williamsburg
Overheard by: Justin Casement
Thin preppy girl to heavier stranger: Oh my god! I love your shoes.
Heavier stranger, looking her over: Girl, I wish I could give you a compliment, but you just look hungry.
–95th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Adriana
Young man: You're fat because you need to release. Look at me, that's why I'm slim and sexy. I beat off every day.
–Prospect Heights, Brooklyn
Salesgirl to salesgirl friend: I wanna thank you for taking the time to repeatedly hit me in my arm fat and make it jiggle.
–Henri Bendel
Overheard by: Stephan Dion
Professor to class of girls: You guys are all thin (looks around classroom and notices there are some fat girls) …mostly.
–Fashion Institute of Technology
Suit to another: All I'm trying to say is, she's not tall enough for her weight.
–Uptown 6 Train
Overheard by: ednapontellier
Black girl: Fat people can do splits because they have no bones.
–Pizza Place, St. Mark's Place
Five-year-old to very overweight man while waiting for Thanksgiving Day parade: Are you one of the balloons?
–Broadway & 50th St
Overheard by: Peter
Chubby girl: I need to lose some weight before I go on vacation. What did you eat when you went on your three-day diet?
Anorexic girl: Uh…I didn't.
–Union Square
