Woman: That’s enough pushing, people. I’m pregnant and I’m nice and tight up in here.
Guy: That’s why you got pregnant!
–6 train
Overheard by: john chianese
Woman: That’s enough pushing, people. I’m pregnant and I’m nice and tight up in here.
Guy: That’s why you got pregnant!
–6 train
Overheard by: john chianese
An Asian woman is talking loudly on her cell phone
Fat Black lady: You need to move to the back of the damn bus. We don’t wanna hear that ching-chang ching-chong bullshit!
–Q34 bus
Overheard by: Lauren
Guy pedalling rickshaw, on cell: No, I can’t get there. I have no bike right now. No, I’m on the train at the moment.
–34th & Broadway
Man on cell: No, I’m not outside!…I’m in the bank!…I’m in the bank…I’m telling you, I’m in the bank!
–Barnes & Noble, Union Square
Middle-Eastern dude on cell: Right now I am coming in a taxi cab from JFK Airport…Yes, well, I understand your concern, but you see, I am driving the taxi.
–Starbucks, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: math tinder
Conductor, speaking in a robot voice: Watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch the gap, watch… Sorry, my finger fell off the button. Watch the gap.
–LIRR
Train conductor: This is a Brooklyn-bound A experience to Lefferts boulevard. Have an optimistic day!
–A Train
Overheard by: soothed passenger
Conductor, in droll voice: For the fifteenth million time, there is train traffic ahead.
–1 Train
Conductor: This is 207th street, the last and final stop. Please collect all your personal belongings and leave the train. Goodnight and happy wabbit season.
–A Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Conductor: Thank you for riding on the C line, the best subway line in the whole, wide world.
–C Train
Overheard by: traPt
Conductor: If you want to get off at South Ferry, please go to the first five cars of the train. All passengers getting off at South Ferry, please move along the platform to the first five cars of the train. Yes, the front of the train is the direction the train was moving.
–1 Train
Conductor: We apologize for the delay, but this happens on the weekends. For info on service changes log onto www.mta.info. If you don’t have a computer, watch NY1, if you don’t have a TV, listen to 1010 Wins, if you don’t have a radio, call 718-330-1234, if you don’t have a phone, go home and wait for a miracle.
–N Train
Overheard by: subway rider
Woman to friends: Girl, you know how to do some rollers?
Friend: Damn, honey, I don't know how to do none of that shit. I could braid, I could perm, but that's it. You know that bitch Julia, she Mexican. She could do it. She know how to multitask.
Conductor: Please watch the gap as you exit the train, ladies and gentlemen.
Friend: Damn! That's a big ass gap, my ass almost fell over!
–Shuttle to Times Square
Woman: Is the next stop the last stop on the train?
Man: The next stop is the last stop in New York. After that, all the stops are in Brooklyn.
–2 Train
Man in tweed jacket and bowler hat to woman sitting next to him: Lose some weight! (stands up to find another seat)
Woman, staring: I guess he had a bad day.
–M86 Bus
Female suit to thug trying to push through to the front: You know, there's really nowhere for you to fit in here.
Thug: Don't mess with me, I'm from The Bronx.
Female suit: Don't mess with me. I'm from Jersey.
–1 Train
Hip Woman: Excuse me, I think you dropped your Metrocard.
UES Woman: I know. It’s not any good anymore.
Hip Woman: Oh, so now the floor is a garbage can?
UES Woman: That depends on your interpretation.
Hip Woman: Who interprets the floor of the bus as a garbage can? Man, I sure would hate to see your apartment.
–M15 bus
Drunk hobo boarding train: Hey, is this uptown or downtown?
Girl: It’s the…
Drunk hobo: Fuck it! Lets go!
–A Train
Overheard by: Tiffany
