Woman #1: Paris was disappointing. I went there to see two things: the Eiffel tower and the Mona Lisa. I didn't get to go to the top of the Eiffel Tower, there were too many smelly tourists in the elevator. And the Mona Lisa was the size of a postcard.
Woman #2: Oh, you didn't go to the Leaning Tower of Pisa?
Woman #1: Ummm…that's in Italy.
–Starbucks, 66th & 3rd
Overheard by: Sofia Dante
Guy #1: Hey, don't I know you?
Guy #2: No, I don't think so.
Guy #1: Yeah, yeah. I know you. (takes out cell phone) Your sister's in my top five.
Guy #2: Ashley?!
–Toys 'R Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lee
Passenger #1: It's like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too.
Passenger #2: I don't get that. I mean, if I bought the cake, why wouldn't I eat it?
Passenger #1: That's not the point, if you eat the cake it's not there anymore. Get it?
Passenger #2: Then why did I buy the cake in the first place?
(15 minutes later)
Passenger #2: But what about the cake?
Passenger #1: So did you watch The Hills last night?
–Downtown A Train
Overheard by: Dr.C
Gay guy: Oh fuck, motherfucker!
Female friend: Why must you be so white?
–Bleecker & 7th Ave
Overheard by: molina1230
Barely legal girl: Can we do brunch tomorrow?
Guy: Sure.
Barely legal girl: Good. I like having Saturday plans. I get sad on weekends if I don’t wake up in someone else’s bed or have plans.
–51st & 9th
Overheard by: Bar Keep
Drunk guy: Oh, kick that dart! I mean dog. I mean, is that a puppy? Oh, it’s a ball.
Teen boy: It’s a ball, are you blind?
–96th & Broadway
Mailman: I’m sorry sir, but I don’t know where this package is. It was undeliverable. It is not here.
Human man: I know. This is the third time I’ve been down here. So what do you want me to do?
Mailman: Sir?
Human man: What do you want me to do? Give up, keep coming back?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: What? Give up?
Mailman: Yes.
Human man: You’re serious?
Mailman: Yes.
–Post office, 34th & Lexington
Overheard by: Fish
High school girl #1: Rachel*, do you really find that man attractive?
High school girl #2: His personality is perfect!
High school girl #1: He is 50 years old!
High school girl #2: So?
High school girl #3: Yeah, I second that: so what?
–Central Park
Headline by: Tom
Runners-Up:
· “His Money Doesn’t Look a Day Over 20” – Nik
· “Mr. Belding Only Got Better with Age” – RBNY
· “Now, Let’s Make a Pact to Be Impregnated by Him…” – T
· “Who Says Santa Can’t Be a Babe Magnet?” – Nael B
· “You Might Want to Check the Expiration Date on That Personality” – kenderbard
Dad to seven-year old son, pointing at 30 Rock: That's the building where Liz Lemon works.
Seven-year old son: Where's Kenneth!?
–Rockefeller Center
Overheard by: cat
Starbucks barista: Sorry, we're all out of bananas. Would you like to try something else?
Beach bum tanning girl: But I never drink anything from here that doesn't have bananas.
Starbucks barista: Well, we have some bananas in the back, but they still look green.
Beach bum tanning girl, clearly confused: If they're green on the outside, does that mean they're green on the inside too?
–Starbucks, Staten Island
Overheard by: Jacqueline Battaglia
