Cafe staff: Excuse me, are these yours? (holds up jogging shorts)
Man at computer: No, but I do like smelling used shorts.
–Snice Cafe, 8th Ave & Jane St
Overheard by: T. Castillo
Cafe staff: Excuse me, are these yours? (holds up jogging shorts)
Man at computer: No, but I do like smelling used shorts.
–Snice Cafe, 8th Ave & Jane St
Overheard by: T. Castillo
Chick: Excuse me, are the trains running? Because there's one just sitting there…
Station clerk: Nah, they runnin', they runnin'! He just chillin' a little!
–215th Street 1 Station
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Father: Do you want a hatchet?
Four-year-old son: I need an axe!
Father: You sure?
Four-year-old son: Yeah!
Father: Okay!
–Lafayette & Vanderbilt, Brooklyn
Overheard by: off white
Drunk Hispanic teen: How do I get to Times Square?
Older white lady: I am not sure… Maybe two stops. [Teen whispers to her.] Good Lord, no! I am old enough to be your mother!
–F train, 57th St
Girl: Does your tan go away quicker when it’s cold out?
Guy #1: Yeah, it’s like why water turns white when it freezes.
Guy #2: You two are both idiots!
–58th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jester
Student #1: I met a guy on craigslist for “no strings attached” sex.
Student #2: Yeah? Was he weird, or was it fine?
Student #1: He was my TA from one of my classes last year.
Student #2: That’s the epitome of awkward turtle.
–Union Square
Woman: I’m getting married.
Man she just met: Oh, congratulations! When is the wedding?
Woman: When I find a man who wants to marry me.
–DMV License Xpress, 34th & 8th
Overheard by: Irritated Eavesdropper
Teen tourist: How much for the sunglasses?
Vendor: Thirty dollars.
Teen tourist: In Chinatown?!
–Chinatown
Overheard by: Ozzy
Guy on cell: …so I say to her, “Why the hell do you have a cell phone if you don’t use it?”. God, my brother is an asshole and my girlfriend is a moron!
–Clinton Street
Overheard by: nappytee
