Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?
–Bedford-Stuy
Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?
–Bedford-Stuy
Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…
–28th St & Park Ave
20-something blonde #1: So what do they have you doing there all day?
20-something blonde #2: Well, let's just say I could probably be a professional “white-outer”.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Nauseous
MoMA desk rep: Today is free. Take your tickets.
MoMA guest: Are the tickets free? How much?
MoMA desk rep: No. For you, twice as much.
MoMA guest: Why? Cause I'm black?
–MoMA
Overheard by: Oh Kelly…
Headline by: The Limey
Runners-Up:
· “I Think a Child Was Left Behind” – samson
· “No, Because You’re Stupid… But Those Might Be Related” – john grisham
· “No, Cuz You Aint Learnt Your Zero Times Tables” – no math wiz but
· “The NYC Stupidity Tax Still Catches People by Surprise” – Ron D.
· “Yes, You’ve Heard Of Ladies Night? This Is White Day” – Leary Blaine
· “You’re Black Yet You Don’t Understand the Concept Of a Free Government Handout?” – BenGay
Girl #1: Hi!
Girl #2: I'm sorry I couldn't make your party. I was at Jiddy's birthday in Bryant Park.
Girl #1: It's okay.
Girl #2: How are you?
Girl #1: I've had a hell of a week. My dog's in the hospital.
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one that's alive.
–L Train
Virgina redneck: I love the Chinese, very nice people! You guys from Chinatown?
Chinese woman: No, we're from Brooklyn.
–R Train
Girl #1: So what movie do you want to see?
Girl #2: I definitely wanna see a cahhmedy, I don't want to see no freakin GI Joe or nuttin scary.
Girl #1: What about the orphan?
Girl #2: Yeeeeaaah, that be good.
–SoHo
Overheard by: Forever 21 shopper
Guy to friend: Why's everything so dark?
Friend: Because it's night time.
–51st St & Lexington
Jogging girl #1: I think I need to be less Jewey.
Jogging girl #2: Yeah, I guess you could do that.
Jogging girl #1: How though? Get a haircut?
Jogging girl #2: I guess…
–Riverside Park
Woman standing in the rain, yelling at boyfriend: No! I'm not walking there! This water is dirty!
Another woman, passing by: Of course it's dirty, it's on the street. Are you fucking kidding?
–86th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: she's not.
