Is Christopher Walken a Wednesday One-Liner?

Guy in white shirt and tie: So what, so what if the aliens landed in Brooklyn? And they start shooting their guns, their laser guns on the corner, in the candy store? What then? Do we just let them in the shelter?

–John Jay College of Criminal Justice

Crazy guy: I am an alien from outer space! I have crash landed on your planet! This is our language! (saxophone solo)

–C Train

Overheard by: Emily B.

Conductor: We will be stopped at the next station for ten minutes. You are not allowed to exit the train, so that means no smoke breaks or bathroom trips. If you do get off of the train you will be abducted by aliens and never heard from again.

–Amtrak Train, Penn station

Overheard by: Madge

Hobo to teen girls: Can you spare some change for a space man? I wanna get drunk later.

–94th St & Broadway

Posted on October 14, 2009
All Wednesday One-Liners, College, Conductors, Crazies, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Hobos, Instruments, Language Barrier, Music, Offers and requests, On the Subway, One-liners, Panhandling, Pee, Penn Station, Public Transportation, Questions, Smoking, Teens, Threats, Time, Trains Not Subway, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center, Vampires, Ghouls, and Ghosts, oh my!, Weapons, Wednesday One-Liners, Wishes & desires

Be Proud– Smelling Worse Than the Subway Is an Accomplishment

Girl #1: Um, do I smell bad? Nobody has sat next to me in a while and this train has been overcrowded for the past ten blocks.
Girl #2: Yeah… you kind of do, actually.

–Q Train

Posted on October 13, 2009
Girls, On the Subway, Public Transportation, Questions, Scents of the City, Sensory Experiences

I Don't Think We're Quite at That Place in Our Relationship Yet

Girl #1, at school cafeteria: What is that?
Girl #2: Polenta.
Girl #1: I've never had it. Can I have a bite of your placenta?

–Bedford-Stuy

Posted on October 13, 2009
Body Parts, Brooklyn, Ethnic Food, Girls, Offers and requests, Questions

…What an Actor!

Kid on bike: Hey dad–that Gap ad. Is that Viggo Mortensen?
Dad on bike, looking: Him? Noooo! (pause) Viggo Mortensen's black.
Kid on bike: He is? Oh. (pause) In Lord of the Rings he wasn't…

–28th St & Park Ave

Posted on October 13, 2009
About Celebrities, Clothing, Dads, Kids, Movies, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Parents, Questions, Race, Stupidity

Every Administration Needs One

20-something blonde #1: So what do they have you doing there all day?
20-something blonde #2: Well, let's just say I could probably be a professional “white-outer”.

–LIRR

Overheard by: Nauseous

Posted on October 12, 2009
Girls, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Trains Not Subway, Weirdness

Beacause Stupid Is Truly Colour Blind

MoMA desk rep: Today is free. Take your tickets.
MoMA guest: Are the tickets free? How much?
MoMA desk rep: No. For you, twice as much.
MoMA guest: Why? Cause I'm black?

–MoMA

Overheard by: Oh Kelly…

Headline by: The Limey

Runners-Up:
· “I Think a Child Was Left Behind” – samson
· “No, Because You’re Stupid… But Those Might Be Related” – john grisham
· “No, Cuz You Aint Learnt Your Zero Times Tables” – no math wiz but
· “The NYC Stupidity Tax Still Catches People by Surprise” – Ron D.
· “Yes, You’ve Heard Of Ladies Night? This Is White Day” – Leary Blaine
· “You’re Black Yet You Don’t Understand the Concept Of a Free Government Handout?” – BenGay

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Posted on October 12, 2009
Clerks, Customers, Free stuff!, Headline Contest Winners, MoMA, Money & Class, Questions, Race

We Should Get Together Less Often

Girl #1: Hi!
Girl #2: I'm sorry I couldn't make your party. I was at Jiddy's birthday in Bryant Park.
Girl #1: It's okay.
Girl #2: How are you?
Girl #1: I've had a hell of a week. My dog's in the hospital.
Girl #2: Which one?
Girl #1: The one that's alive.

–L Train

Posted on October 12, 2009
Apologies, Birthdays, Celebrations/Parties, Girls, Health and Hygiene, Man's Best Friend, On the Subway, Questions

All Those Brooklyn Jews Need to Get Their Christmas Eve Chinese Food Somewhere

Virgina redneck: I love the Chinese, very nice people! You guys from Chinatown?
Chinese woman: No, we're from Brooklyn.

–R Train

Posted on October 11, 2009
Chinese, On the Subway, Questions, Race, Rednecks

It Wasn't

Girl #1: So what movie do you want to see?
Girl #2: I definitely wanna see a cahhmedy, I don't want to see no freakin GI Joe or nuttin scary.
Girl #1: What about the orphan?
Girl #2: Yeeeeaaah, that be good.

–SoHo

Overheard by: Forever 21 shopper

Posted on October 11, 2009
Compare/Contrast, Film, Girls, Movies, Questions, Soho, Wishes & desires

Questions