Young daughter to mother flushing toilet: Mommy! It says “do not flush.”
Mother: No, honey, it says “do not flush feminine products.”
Young daughter: What are “feminine products”?
Mother (after pause): Lipstick.
–Macy's Bathroom, W 34th St
Overheard by: Brin
Daughter: Is that our bus?
Mother: No, that's a tourist bus, we're waiting for the city bus.
Daughter: Hey! Is that the Empire State Building? It's really tall!
Mother: It's not that tall.
Daughter: I never saw it before.
Mother: You never looked up.
–34th St & 7th Ave
Angry parent: So what you are telling me is you know nothing about how my son's face got bruised.
Teacher: No, ma'am. Like I said, it happened at recess. I am on my lunch during their recess.
Angry parent: So you weren't there? You didn't see nothing?
Teacher: I did not see anything. I was not there. I was on my lunch.
Angry parent: So you wasn't there? You is his teacher but you's not with him all day?
Teacher: No ma'am. If I were with these students all day, I would kill myself.
–Public School, Bronx
Street corner punk #1: Where did she say she lives?
Street corner punk #2: Yonkers.
Street corner punk #1: Yonkers? There's no place called “Yonkers”! She was playin' you, man.
Street corner punk #2: Whatchoo talkin' about, man? Yonkers is a city!
Street corner punk #2: Yeah right. There's also a city called “my balls.”
–Sutphin Blvd & 89th Ave, Jamaica
Overheard by: Big Larry
Guido, shouting: Yo, who leaves a fuckin' business card in the shitter? Seriously!?
Man from across bathroom: You should call the number on the card, maybe they'll give you a blowjob.
–Grand Central Terminal
Overheard by: Michael
Man: Wait, who's the gay one again?
Friend: Jesus. Jesus is gay.
–110th & Broadway
Older teen boy: Oh my god, yesterday after the party I had these farts that smelled odee.
Younger teen girl: Yeah, oh my god, was it that bad?
Older teen boy: I mean I was running away from my own farts.
Younger teen girl: Wow, it's weird cuz I love the way my farts smell!
(older teen boy walks away and crosses the street)
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: fart smeller
Teen girl: Oh my god! Are you coming out of the closet?
Teen guy: Wait…what? I can't even fit into my closet.
–F train
Overheard by: ali
Overly enthusiastic customer: So I heard that they are coming out with a 32 gb iPhone for Christmas. Like a red product thing for Christmas. Is that true?
Overly perky Apple employee: Well, sir, I wouldn't know because I'm Jewish and whenever they have Christmas meetings, they kick me out of the room.
–Apple Store SoHo, Prince & Greene St
Overheard by: are they allowed to say that?
NYU chick #1: What's the poverty level anyway?
NYU chick #2: I don't know, like $100,000 a year?
–NYU Dorm
