And I Said, “Is This a Rhetorical Question?”

Guy on cell: So he said, ‘If you imagine yourself as a hot dog, would you eat yourself?’

–Tribeca

Overheard by: brrrrrrrrrrrrrt

Posted on March 23, 2020
Guys, Junk Food & Fast Food, On Cell, Psychology, Questions, Wall Street, TriBeCa, South Street Seaport

Or Hook Up With Her

Dumb girl #1: If my ex wasn't an idiot I would call him.
Dumb girl #2: Why is he an idiot?
Dumb girl #1: Because he hooked up with one of my friends.
Dumb girl #2: That sucks.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah, she likes to get with friends' men.
Dumb girl #2: Wow! She's a bitch.
Dumb girl #1: Yeah… but so, should I call him?

–L Train

Posted on March 22, 2020
Friendship, Girls, Hook Ups, Idiots, Infidelity, Insults, On the Subway, Promiscuity, Questions, Stupidity

Most Americans Have Given Up Believing Their Eyes and Ears

Tourist #1: I wanna see the ball that drops in Times Square!
Tourist #2: Wait… that thing actually exists?

–Broadway b/w 43rd & 44th

Overheard by: Ben

Posted on March 15, 2020
Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, NYC Geography, Questions, Stupidity, Tourism, Tourists

At Least I Remember Ringo the Baptist

Younger woman: What's the name of Jesus' father? Not god, the other guy!
Older woman: Joseph?
Younger woman: Yeah! Him. Oh wait, so it's not “John”? Forget it.

–Midtown

Posted on March 13, 2020
Default, Jesus, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Names, Old People, Questions, Women

The Decency Was Good While It Lasted

Girl: What is all that screaming ahead?
Guy: Maybe they are doing a reenactment of September 11th.

–Ground Zero

Overheard by: A A F

Tourist woman: Where is the World Trade Center?
New Yorker guy: You missed it.

–Chambers and W. Broadway

Overheard by: tom brigham

Posted on March 13, 2020
Directions, Ground Zero, Questions, Stupidity, Terrorism, Wednesday One-Liners, Wednesday One-Liners Vary

Or a Piece of Paper with the Word “Money” on It

Dude: Are you guys going to get, like, totally drunk tonight and make out?
Sister #1: I'd do it for a lot of money.
Sister #2: A lot of money.
Sister #1: I'd do it for a little money.

–Uptown 1 Train

Posted on March 1, 2020
Compare/Contrast, Default, Drinking & Drunk People, Guys, Incest, Money & Class, On the Subway, Prostitution, Questions, Sisters

Coincidentally, ‘A Fun Place Where Children Can Learn’ Was What He Called His Van

Girl: Would you be interested in hearing about a fun place where children can learn?
Man: No, I’m not allowed because I’m a registered felon.
Girl: Well, have a nice day!

–outside SCORE! Educational Center, Union Turnpike

Overheard by: Pfeff

Posted on March 1, 2020
Creepsters, Crime and Punishment, Education, Girls, Men, Nice People, Queens, Questions

Panda: “I Feel Somehow…Unfulfilled.”

Very little girl: Okay, this is not going to be minutes, this is not going to be seconds: where is the panda?
Dad, looking around outdoor enclosure: Um… Oh! There it is!
Very little girl, peering through fence: I can't see it!
Dad, lifting her just above fence: How's that?
Very little girl: Okay! Let's go!

–Red Panda Habitat, Central Park Zoo

Overheard by: Susan Volchok