Woman: And she's dying from some disease.
Man: Well, is it a good disease?
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: ian
Woman: And she's dying from some disease.
Man: Well, is it a good disease?
–57th & 7th
Overheard by: ian
Guy #1: Dude, I just totally saw my first dead guy!
Guy #2: Wow, how long have you lived here?
Guy #1: About two years.
Guy #2: Damn, it took you that long to see a dead guy? Have you ever stepped outside your apartment?
–Starbucks, Broadway
Tourist: Why does everyone on this train look so sad? Everybody looks like they’re having the worst day. [To girl sitting next to him] Are you having a bad day?
Girl: No.
Tourist: Probably because it’s so cold here. Is it always so cold here?
Girl: No. It’s really cold for March.
Tourist: It’s too cold to go swimming, isn’t it?
Girl: Yes.
Tourist: Oh, well. We’re headed uptown. What do you think my chances of seeing Woody Allen are?
Girl: Very slim.
–Manhattan-bound 4 train
JAP: I did the whole Manhattan/Long Island/Westchester Jew thing this year.
Guy: How’d that work out?
JAP: I think I’m going to cut that phase in my life.
–NYU
Overheard by: A. Pincus
Headline by: Still got my original nose.
Runners-Up:
· “By Which I Mean the Inside Of My Thigh” – Tadzio
· “I Realized I Can Keep the Sense Of Entitlement Without All That Extra Work.” – stoobydoo
· “I Think Hitler Tried That Already….” – Sarah Booz
· “I’ll Tell the Guy Who’s Ghost-Writing My Autobiography Later Today” – Louis
· “JAP Code for I Was Slutty and Need an Abortion” – Casual Observer
· “Sort Of a “Lifestyle Bris”” – Chris
Columbia boy: That’s the library, right?
Barnard girl: Yeah, but it’s just for girls. They do a muff-check at the door.
–Barnard College
Bodega guy to old Dominican guy: What's up, sister?
Old Dominican guy: I got your sister swinging!
–Throop & Vernon
Overheard by: johnny
Foreigner: What was with those guys in Brokeback Mountain? Are all cowboys dumb?
Girl: They weren’t dumb, they were gay.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Sara McGrath
Girl #1: Man, if I'm going to go to that party tonight, I gotta shave my hair.
Girl #2: Yeah, me too. Where is the best price around here?
Girl #3: There's one on Lexington by my place, and a guy does it, and he's so hot I just want him to accidentally shove his dick up me.
Girl #2: Then we'll go to that place!
–6 Train
Overheard by: Andrew
300-pound girl on phone: Girl, you showed your whole booty crack? I know, he's into that kinky downtown shit.
–14th St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: bastardo
Loud upstate girl: I think…doin' any kinda research inta furries? You're in trouble.
–Hudson & Houston
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Hoochie: I mean, you gonna handcuff me, then handcuff me. But, you know, when I gotta go do my shit, I gotta go.
–1st St & 1st Ave
Overheard by: stephie
Curly-haired girl on cell: I've totally got a cold too! But I've also got bondage tape. And a cell phone activated vibrator.
–Ouidad salon
Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy
Suit to another, while having lunch on bench: You put duct tape on her mouth and you do it from behind.
–Central Park
Guy at table: You know, she's a quality girl, even when I was in handcuffs, I could tell that she was a quality girl.
–Carnegie Deli
Overheard by: Spazz
Exasperated woman on phone: It's a phone interview! What does it matter what type of boobs I have?
–Office Building, 32nd & 7th
Overheard by: erkala
Girl, after guy accidentally hit her boob: Ow! You should be squeezing them, not hitting them!
–Toys R' Us, Times Square
Overheard by: Lotte
Upper West Side girl to friend: I hate that my boobs are so big! It completely ruins that skirt for me.
–Canal Street
Hobo: But I don't want to love my breasts!
–Ave B
Man on cell: So you're coming to New York? That's good. I called your mother, she said you're staying with some girl with big tits tonight.
–West 4th Street
Guy to another, while at lunch: I don't care if you think I live too fast and I'll be dead at 45. At least I'll die with a tittie in my mouth!
–Bryant Park
Overheard by: sal b
