Wednesday Hold-on-There's-Someone-on-the-Other-Liners

60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.

–B4 Bus

Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova

Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!

–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster

NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.

–Bus

Overheard by: liz

Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!

–Food Stamp Office, 14th St

Overheard by: Erica Schreiner

African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.

–30th St & Madison Ave

Overheard by: mike v

Posted on August 27, 2019
About Celebrities, Age/Aging, All Wednesday One-Liners, Black People, Body Parts, Bus, Cell Phone, Family Ties, Fitness, Guys, Men, Murray Hill and Gramercy, Offers and requests, Office, On Cell, On the Bus, One-liners, Parents, Questions, Restaurants & Cafes, Retards & Handicaps, Students, Stupidity, Wednesday One-Liners, Weirdness, Wishes & desires, Women

It’s What I’m Used To

Sailor: It was your idea.
Lady friend: You think I should dress like a man?

–Little Italy

Posted on August 20, 2019
Clothing, Couples, Default, Little Italy, Questions

Could You Remind Me How to Breathe?

Hip Indian chick #1: We should totally go to Raj's party tomorrow night.
Hip Indian chick #2: Oh my god, we totally should! Except it's in Brooklyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or something?
Hip Indian chick #1: You're kidding, right?
Hip Indian chick #2, laughing: Wow! I am so one of those people who are like total geniuses but always forget like, really basic stuff.
Hip Indian chick #1: Umm, yeah. Totally.

–M14D Bus

Overheard by: Cody

Posted on August 15, 2019
Bus, Celebrations/Parties, Girls, India Indians, Laughter, NYC Geography, On the Bus, Questions, Stupidity

Your Editors Have So Many Questions

Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?
30-something woman: Arkansas.
Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?
30-something woman: No.
Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.
30-something woman: And you just confirmed mine.

–Temple Shaaray Tefila

Posted on August 11, 2019
Jews, Judaism, Old People, Questions, Upper East Side, Women

Or “Wicked Brilliant,” to Be Exact

Chick #1: I don't get it. I mean, why would you go to Cambridge to study science? Why not go to Oxford?
Chick #2: Either way, it's England, so it's mad awesome.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Jedusor

Posted on August 9, 2019
Education, Girls, Penn Station, Questions, School and studying, Science

Welcome to Subway Hell, Lady

Conductor, over speaker: Grand Avenue-Newtown will be next, stand clear of the closing doors…
Lady on train: Wait, what'd he say?
Conductor, over speaker: Wait, what'd he say?

–R Train

Overheard by: Kevin

Posted on August 9, 2019
Conductors, Directions, On the Subway, Passengers, Public Transportation, Questions

He Put His Foot in His Mouth One Time Too Many

Teen girl on cell: So, where are you? So, what happened? Not to your shoe! In the hospital?!

–Central Park

Overheard by: concerned trespasser

Posted on August 7, 2019
Accidents, Central Park, Default, Girls, On Cell, Questions, Shoes, Teens

Hokay, I No Steal

American guy: All the buildings in New York City are made with brick. No steel. So if there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
Foreign guy: No steel?
American guy: No steel. All brick. If there's an earthquake, we're all dead.
(foreign guy giggles hysterically)

–111th & Broadway

Overheard by: Ladle

Posted on August 6, 2019
Accidents, Death, Foreigners, Guys, Questions, Upper West Side & Lincoln Center

It’s a Second Chance for You to Pretend Not to Notice the Smell

Man #1, trying to make the elevator door before it closes: Don’t you guys believe in second chances?
Man #2: Did you have beans for lunch?

–188 Montague, Brooklyn Heights

Posted on August 5, 2019
Brooklyn, Default, Elevators, Farting & Burping, Food, Men, Questions, Scents of the City

…But We Were Told There'd Be No Math in This Class

Professor: Wisdom goes: if you are looking to get married, and you can either choose a nine who is broke or a seven with a lot of money, you choose the…?
Students, without missing a beat: Seven!

–Hunter College

Posted on August 3, 2019
Beauty, Compare/Contrast, Hunter, Marriage, Money & Class, Questions, Students, Teachers/Professors