Flyers girl: Hi, would you like to come to a party?
Guy: No, thanks.
Flyers girl: Why do people keep lying to me?
Guy: I’m not a person.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Will Person
Flyers girl: Hi, would you like to come to a party?
Guy: No, thanks.
Flyers girl: Why do people keep lying to me?
Guy: I’m not a person.
–14th & Broadway
Overheard by: Will Person
Thugette: Has anyone ever done anything romantical for ya'll hoes?
Hoes (together): Nahhh.
–6 Train
Overheard by: What ya'll watchin hoes?
Girl #1: So, you're sleeping in the same bed as this guy?
Girl #2: Yeah, but it's like a king size bed, so it's not like we touch.
–Bleecker St
Old man: So where are you from?
Barber: Russia.
Old man: Oh yes, they have a lot of money there in Russia.
Barber: No, very poor.
Old man: Where in Russia are you from?
Barber: Uzbekistan.
Old man: Oh! So you're from the boondocks? Your country would be like the boondocks to Russia.
Barber: I lived in a city.
Old man: A city? You mean you didn't grow up on a farm?
Barber: No.
Old man: You didn't have livestock?
Barber: Yes. We had pigs and chickens.
Old man: Pigs are great. But pig urine smells awful. And chickens are stupid. They will lie back with their mouths open and drown in a rainstorm.
Barber: Yes, chickens are stupid. I named them after my sisters.
–E 9th & Ave A
NYU dude #1: What sources did you use for the final?
NYU dude #2: Urbandictionary.com.
NYU dude #1: Awesome.
–Washington Square South
Overheard by: Lezbotron
Man: I need the number for an ear doctor.
Woman: An ENT?
Man: Yeah, an ENT.
Woman: Why? What happened?
Man: In '86, I got hit in the head with brass knuckles.
–6 Train
60-year-old man on cell: I want you to do a big fave for me, okay? Call my aunt's house. If my aunt picks up, hang up.
–B4 Bus
Overheard by: Victoria Tarasova
Dude on cell: No, it's okay, my cellphone is attached to my hand. It's part of my hand!
–Restaurant Bathroom, 7th Ave
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
NYU guy on cell, snottily: No wait, wait… Is it full because you keep leaving them for me and I never bother to listen? (pause) Voicemail is a dead technology, dad.
–Bus
Overheard by: liz
Woman on crutches: People think I'm talking on one of those Bluetooth-headphone-cell phones. Nah. I'm just talking to myself. Pfft! I ain't got no cell phone! I just talk to myself! That's right!
–Food Stamp Office, 14th St
Overheard by: Erica Schreiner
African American man on cell: I gotta go. I got Richard Simmons on the other line.
–30th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: mike v
Sailor: It was your idea.
Lady friend: You think I should dress like a man?
–Little Italy
Hip Indian chick #1: We should totally go to Raj's party tomorrow night.
Hip Indian chick #2: Oh my god, we totally should! Except it's in Brooklyn. Like, how would we even get there? Are there like, bridges or something?
Hip Indian chick #1: You're kidding, right?
Hip Indian chick #2, laughing: Wow! I am so one of those people who are like total geniuses but always forget like, really basic stuff.
Hip Indian chick #1: Umm, yeah. Totally.
–M14D Bus
Overheard by: Cody
Older Jewish woman: And where are you from?
30-something woman: Arkansas.
Older Jewish woman: And are you Jewish?
30-something woman: No.
Older Jewish woman: You just confirmed my stereotype.
30-something woman: And you just confirmed mine.
–Temple Shaaray Tefila
