Four-year-old girl, jubilantly: The letter y!
Father: Z.
Four-year-old girl: Good-bye.
Father: Four.
Four-year-old girl: What?
Father: Yes.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Christin
Sorority girl tourist #1, about photo of guy on camera phone: Look at this gluteus maximus.
Sorority girl tourist #2: Oooh, nice gluteus maximus. Hey, what’s with all the weird body part names, anyway? Gluteus maximus…
Sorority girl tourist #1: Vulva…
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Dolores!
Guy: How were things with your ex last night?
Girl: You know… He threw up and started crying, so I gave him a hug. He got an erection, threw up two more times and passed out.
Guy: So, same old same old.
–E 51st, b/w 1st & 2nd
Mom, reading about unicorns to ten-year-old son: The unicorn was a symbol of Christ, its head in the virgin Mary’s lap…
Son: Wait, wait, wait! Mary was a virgin?!
–Museum of Natural History, Mythic Creatures Exhibit
Gap employee #1: What's your major again?
Gap employee #2: French studies.
Gap employee #1: Oh yeah, you're all into London and shit, right?
–The Gap
Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.
–Fordham & Crotona
Slick guy: So, do the curtains match the carpet?
Hot bleached blonde: There is no carpet.
Slick guy: Oh.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Screaming, sobbing middle-aged woman to man: Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me? We made beautiful love last night! Why are you doing this to me?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Laura
Angry woman on cell: You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me! We are done!
–147th & St Nicholas
Man on cell: I'm going to fucking dump that job, like girls dump me.
–45th & 8th
Girl on phone: No wonder he broke up with you, you are a pain in the ass!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Laura
Teen girl on cell: Are you fucking kidding me? You're breaking up with me because I didn't let you lick chocolate off my coochie? That shit's fucked up!
–Bloomingdale's
Boy #1: Dude, I got Foley this weekend.
Boy #2: Dude, that's awesome. How was she?
Boy #1: She didn't know what she was doing, but the sex is going to be fucking awesome.
Boy #2: Dude, good for you man.
–78th St Bus Stop
Woman: I'll tell you why.
Man: Okay.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No. Woman, do you know why?
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No, but I would like to know.
Woman: I don't know either.
–U-Haul Store, The Bronx
Overheard by: Mike
