Gap employee #1: What's your major again?
Gap employee #2: French studies.
Gap employee #1: Oh yeah, you're all into London and shit, right?
–The Gap
Gap employee #1: What's your major again?
Gap employee #2: French studies.
Gap employee #1: Oh yeah, you're all into London and shit, right?
–The Gap
Concerned man to friend: So, wait, does girl A know about girl B?
Friend, nonchalantly: Yeah.
–Fordham & Crotona
Slick guy: So, do the curtains match the carpet?
Hot bleached blonde: There is no carpet.
Slick guy: Oh.
–Starbucks, Times Square
Screaming, sobbing middle-aged woman to man: Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me? We made beautiful love last night! Why are you doing this to me?
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Laura
Angry woman on cell: You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me! We are done!
–147th & St Nicholas
Man on cell: I'm going to fucking dump that job, like girls dump me.
–45th & 8th
Girl on phone: No wonder he broke up with you, you are a pain in the ass!
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Laura
Teen girl on cell: Are you fucking kidding me? You're breaking up with me because I didn't let you lick chocolate off my coochie? That shit's fucked up!
–Bloomingdale's
Boy #1: Dude, I got Foley this weekend.
Boy #2: Dude, that's awesome. How was she?
Boy #1: She didn't know what she was doing, but the sex is going to be fucking awesome.
Boy #2: Dude, good for you man.
–78th St Bus Stop
Woman: I'll tell you why.
Man: Okay.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No.
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No. Woman, do you know why?
Woman: Do you know why?
Man: No, but I would like to know.
Woman: I don't know either.
–U-Haul Store, The Bronx
Overheard by: Mike
British tourist to passing New Yorker: Excuse me, could you please tell me where…
New Yorker, walking briskly: Fuck off! I got problems of my own!
–E 77th & 2nd
Overheard by: D M A
Guy to friends: Guys. I need an attractive blonde, about this tall, from about 11:30 to 12:30 tonight. Know where I can find one?
(silence)
Guy: It's for a film!
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: queenofscots
Guy #1: Yeah, but you have a girlfriend.
Guy #2: Yeah, but she needs to lose weight.
Guy #1: Hmm, well how much weight do you think she needs to lose?
Guy #2: About 40 pounds. She says to me, “Why don’t we make love anymore?” and I’m like, “Why the hell do you think?”.
–2 train
Obnoxious NYU student on phone: Hey, remember that cute boy in my chemistry class I was telling you about? Well, I totally just saw him in a gay porno!
–Study Room, NYU Dorm
Overheard by: NYU Ears
Patient woman: She's making friends with an old porn star, leave her alone!
–2nd Ave b/w 50th & 51st
Overheard by: sab
Cranky suit to nodding friend: Except for porn and eBay, no one knows how to make money anymore!
–Madison Ave & 47th St
Overheard by: kricka
Girl to friend: This would be a great place to shoot a porno.
–Downstairs Bar, Morimoto Restaurant
iPhone screamer: Yeah, just take the exec-u-table file and put it in the folder. Right the exec-u-table file! I know, the music is funny, like a porno, right?
–33rd St b/w 5th & 6th
Chick: You *know* we're all going to be googling "eggbeater porn" before the night is over.
–Party, 171st & Broadway
Overheard by: Ladle
