Gay guy: You know, this one culture worships this cut-out in the grass of this man with a giant penis.
Girl: I'd worship that.
–6th & Waverly
Overheard by: I worship it, too
Gay guy: You know, this one culture worships this cut-out in the grass of this man with a giant penis.
Girl: I'd worship that.
–6th & Waverly
Overheard by: I worship it, too
Chick: Oh, come on. It wouldn’t be anti-Semitic if she told you to take your Stars of David off her Christmas tree.
Boyfriend, under his breath: Fucking shiksa.
–President St & 5th Ave, Park Slope
Guy: Hey, you`ve been reading that book for a long time.
Girl: It’s a good book. It’s my dad’s. He already finished it. He’s reading mine.
Guy: What’s it called?
Girl: Children of Cain.
Guy: What’s Cain?
Girl: I don’t know. Dad?
Dad: I think it’s from the Bible.
Guy: Ah.
Mom: Cain was from the Bible, he was one of two brothers. And I believe he did something naughty.
–Metro-North train
Mom: Baby, now if you don’t put your coat on, I’m gonna spank you.
Little girl: No! I will tell Daddy and he will spank you.
Mom: No, baby, he will not. Nobody spanks me but Jesus.
–M101 bus
Overheard by: Lucy Sorensen
Indian snack counter vendor: What's that on your head, man?
Security guard with ash cross on head, in thick New York accent: It's ash Wednesday.
Indian snack counter vendor, snickering: Okay.
Security guard: Hey, I don't laugh at you guys when you put dots on your heads. You gotta respect other people's beliefs.
–9th St & Broadway
Overheard by: The Chocolate Muffin Sucked
Nun: You’re not man enough to say it to my face!
Obnoxious guy: I’ll say it to your face: God is fucking dead!
–Horace Greeley Park, 35th St
Overheard by: rage gage
Bible thumper: I love you all… even you, sir.
Man: I hate you.
–A Train
Overheard by: SanjayU
Mini-skirt on cell: Just because I had sex with you doesn't mean I gave you my phone number!
–52nd & Lexington
Brunette with a booty on her cell: You're going to be a whore this summer. (quick pause) Can you start by coming out here and whoring yourself?!
–Penn Station
Hot brunette on cell: Ohmigod. How does he do those backflips? He's like 6 feet tall and super built. He probably gets so much ass. Whatever, I would totally be his groupie.
–Midtown East
Overheard by: damn i'd be his groupie too
Bouncer to bouncer: The bible does say "Be fruitful and multiply." It doesn't say "with one person."
–West Village
Overheard by: Bible Fan
Chick: I'm not a whore, but I am not gonna miss out on a chance to fuck that bitch's boyfriend. Plus, she owes me like 30 bucks.
–L Train
Overheard by: Kelly
Woman at bar to her friend: Ok, I know I’m an art dealer, but I’m like, the least bourgeois person I know.
–Smith & Mills (restaurant in Tribeca)
Overheard by: the lerpa
Little boy to friends: There are are four really big, important artists: Monet, Van Gogh, Renoir and… Pistachio.
–Impressionism Room, Metropolitan Museum of Art
Overheard by: I love Pistachio’s green period
Young girl: These paintings smell nice and fresh!
–The Met
Angry white suburban artist to Jews for Jesus: Stop talking! You are pushing this on me without me asking -that makes you a cult. Go away. We don’t like your kind here -we are all white suburban artists.
–Morgan L Stop on Bogart
Overheard by: not a hipster
Gangsta: Dali? Ain’t he like, Picasso or some shit?
–The Met
Old woman: I don’t care what the fuck he says, I was a pirate in my last life, and I was on eight pirate ships!
–Williamsburg
Hobo: She was a…Mormon, no, not a Mormon. A Mormon! No, not a Mormon. What’s that religion that’s against violence? Not a Mormon, not a Mormon…a Quaker! That’s right, you know, a Mormon. It’s a circle of friends so I could just go in there and say, “Hey, I’m a Jew. I am against violence.” And they would wanna be my friends, the Mormons.
–Union Square
Sailor: I can’t believe that stripper stole your book.
–44th & 8th
Overheard by: Doug Singer
Girl: I would have been complimented if he’d been fine…but I believe he was homeless.
–21st & 7th
Overheard by: The Radford
