Student: Am I passing your math class?
Teacher: No.
Student: But I only need your class to graduate! What can I do to pass?
Teacher: Excuse me. Just because I'm Chinese does not mean you can bargain for your grade like this is Chinatown.
–High School, Queens
Professor, rolling up a blackboard to reveal a second blackboard that is covered in general chemistry: Oh god! Oh god…get it off! Ew!
(class laughs)
Professor: No, not the ideal gas law! We don't need that, we're organic chemists! There is no such thing as gas! No such thing as gas!
Student #1: Organic chemists are very sensitive.
Student #2: This is kind of tragic.
–Organic Chem Class, Barnard
Overheard by: Vicksburg
HS kid #1: You know what teflon is?
HS kid #2: No.
HS kid #1: It’s the stuff you coat bullets with so that they’ll pierce a bulletproof vest.
–23rd St. & Broadway
Overheard by: M Cohn
Professor, musing: I wonder what I'm going to do this weekend…
Student in lecture: Party!
Professor: Barbecue?
Student: No, party!
Professor: I think I'm a bit old for that.
Student: Party!
–NYU
Overheard by: Spazz
JAP #1: It’s like, I can’t dance on the bar and dress slutty anymore. It’s just not appropriate.
JAP #2: You did it in college all the time.
JAP #1: But college is different! College is like being in Vegas…
JAP #2: Yeah, for four years!
–Columbus Circle
Brainy guy: I don't think I'm going to buy any books next semester.
Ditzy girl: So what do you expect to do, rent them from some sort of free book rental company?
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
Theater student #1: So it's really good, cause I'm gonna get to play a rapist!
Theater student #2: Oh man, really?
Theater student #1: Yeah! I'll get to rape someone… Or try, I think… Which I've never done before.
Theater student #2: Dude, you're so lucky.
–NYU
Woman on cell: Okay, but this time please stay out of my underwear drawer.
–Astor Place
Overheard by: Jess
Overconfident guy: I know, I know. You say you have a 3.7 at NYU Law, and the panties just drop.
–Dorm, NYU Law
Overheard by: holdingbacklaughter
Little old lady on park bench to another: Well, I've been stuffing my bra now, and now I can't find my money.
–Central Park West & 63rd St
Overheard by: Jen
Woman: My dog only eats my underwear. He doesn't eat my son's. He doesn't eat my husband's. Only mine! I wonder why. (pauses to think) Hmm… it must be that feminine smell.
–E 40th St
Overheard by: TMI
Livid man on cell: No! You can't have your underwear back!
–Chelsea
Girl #1: She's playing rugby?!
Girl #2: Yeah, I guess it's really intense.
Girl #1: I'm gonna play quidditch in college.
–W 62nd St & Central Park West
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
