Wednesday One-Liners Is People!

Little girl to mother: I like the way you taste.

–SoHo

Overheard by: nicky d

Dude on cell: Mice are cannibalizing other mice? Oh, god, that’s awful!

–7 train, Queens

Overheard by: Anthony

Goth chick to another: I don’t care, I am not eating Matthew’s mother’s flesh!

–Hunter College

Overheard by: Me neither

Ghetto dude: Heh, heh… Heh… Fried nigga-fingers!

–13th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Rebecca Odorisio

Ghetto girl to two others: He said he was gonna marinate me for a while… Yes, he did!

–Manhattan-bound E train

Overheard by: Julz

Chick on cell: We’ll never run for office on the conservative Christian ticket now that we’ve discussed eating fetuses with teriyaki sauce.

–Harlem

Posted on March 20, 2015
Food, Ghetto Chicks, Harlem & Morningside Heights, Kids, On Cell, On the Subway, Soho

Exactly.

Guy: You can get it at Duane Reade.
Girl: What's that?
Guy: Duane Reade?
Girl: Yeah.

–Varick & Spring

Posted on March 15, 2015
Advice, Girls, Guys, Questions, Soho

So at Least You Got Unlimited Salad and Breadsticks Out Of the Deal

Male NYU student #1: Like a deer caught in the headlights–he just wanted to have sex.
Male NYU student #2: I love the Olive Garden, though.

–Waverly & Greene

Posted on March 15, 2015
Animals & Nature, Compare/Contrast, Food, Frat Boys, Sex, Soho, Wishes & desires

It’s Wednesday One-liners, Baby

Teen girl on cell: …you just gotta sit him down and say we’re both pregnant by him and we wanna know if we can get along!

–Canal Street

JHS boy: Let’s make like a fetus and head out.

–Broadway & Washington Place

Drunk girl: How could I be pregnant? I like women!

–Times Square

Thug on cell: Nigga, how you been? Shit, I had five kids since I last seen you!

–Elizabeth & Prince

Guy on cell: Do we have to wash you and shave you and put a diaper on you before tonight?

–Penn Station

Overheard by: djlindee

Posted on March 8, 2015
Babies, Chinatown, Drinking & Drunk People, Kids, Manhattan, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, On Cell, One-liners, Penn Station, People, Places, Pregnancy & Birth Control, Relationships, Should've Used a Condom, Soho, Teens, Thugs, Times Square

What He Gets for Being Fresh

Bread vendor: Hey! Lady! Don’t touch the bread!
Old lady, squeezing bread: How am I gonna know if it’s fresh?
Bread vendor: I’ll give you fresh!
Old lady, hitting vendor with large purse in time to her speech: You. Know. What?! You’re. A. Dog! Nothing but a two-bit, Lower East Side dog! That’s what you are!
Bread vendor: Ahhh! [Old lady leaves.]

–Soho

Overheard by: Bulent Akman

Posted on March 8, 2015
Fighting and ass kicking, Food, Gripes, Old People, Soho, Vendors & Street Performers

Scott Baio Is 45…and a Wednesday One-Liner

Man to woman: You wouldn't procreate with Boomer Esiason, even though he's the king of Cincinnati?

–Deli, Canal & Hudson

Overheard by: Uncle Bling

Man on cell: Elvis made ten million dollars last year and he's dead. There's no reason I can't make a thousand.

–Park Slope

Hipster: I like Steve Buscemi a lot more than I like you.

–Life Cafe, Bushwick

Overheard by: D

Woman in Southern accent to man: Look, the McGraw-Hill building. Tim McGraw and Faith Hill must own that building!

–W 49th St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: Michael

Middle aged white man to friend: I finally figured it out. "Mystikal" sounds like a constipated Samuel L. Jackson.

–LIRR

Posted on March 8, 2015
About Celebrities, Advice, All Wednesday One-Liners, Brooklyn, Compare/Contrast, Death, Delis, Football, Friends, Hipsters, Men, Midtown & Hell's Kitchen, Money & Class, Music, On Cell, One-liners, Park Slope, Soho, Southerners, Stupidity, Trains Not Subway, Wednesday One-Liners, White People, Women, Words

What? Just Trying to Be Agreeable.

Guy to group of friends: God, it's ball soup out here today!
Friends: Totally!
Chick: Yeah, my balls are soup!

–Ouside Spa, SoHo

Posted on March 4, 2015
Balls, Ethnic Food, Friends, Girls, Guys, Soho

And Yourself?

Woman: Hello.
Guy: What?
Woman: I said hello.
Guy: Oh. It sure is, it sure is.

–315 Hudson St

Overheard by: Lalaith

Posted on February 26, 2015
Nice People, Soho, Talking/Convos

Or Else I’m in Peril of Being Uncool

Teenage girl, running up to two friends from behind: Molly! And Kaya!
Molly or Kaya: Oh, Bren! Are you coming to Starbucks?
Bren: No, I have to go get that cancer vaccination! Right now!

–Prince & Spring

Posted on February 23, 2015
Cancer, Default, Friends, Girls, Offers and requests, Soho, Teens